Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 2

It's the first-ever holiday issue of Ask The Mask! We unexpectedly received quite a few holiday-related questions in our digital mailbag, so we thought we'd take this moment before winter break to answer them. We'll return to a wider range of topics in January.

For those visiting for the first time, “The Mask” is a group of middle school students eager to help with all your dilemmas. If you’re a middle school student (or a bit younger or older) and would like The Mask to give you advice, please fill out this anonymous form.

Dear Mask,

I don’t know what to do for Christmas. I feel like I should give my friends gifts, even just a handwritten card, but I don’t have any ideas. Can you help?

Sincerely,

Gift Giver

San Jose, CA

Dear Gift Giver,

This is often a problem for me, too, since I love to give everyone unique gifts. Here are some suggestions for gifts to give your friends. First, you can do the classic Christmas cookies! You can add a cute personal note with each of them or personalize each cookie with frosting or sprinkles. If you are not the baking type, or if your friends have allergies, you can make each of your friends keychains, bookmarks, or pieces of art that remind you of them. Handmade presents, even if they’re small, are that much more meaningful. You could also buy a unique gift; I like to go to a fair where there are artists who are very creative and sell lots of handmade presents that can match any personality. Whatever you choose, your friends will love it because it’s from you.  

With cheer,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I want to give my friend a gift. I don’t want to just ask if she has it already, because that will give it away. I have no idea what to do.

Sincerely,

Miserable Gift Giver

San Jose, CA

Dear Miserable Gift Giver,

I love your determination in making sure your friend loves your gift. You could try to ask one of your other friends to bring it up in conversation and casually ask the person if they have it or not. That way, even if they figure out that someone is trying to get a gift for them, they won’t know it’s you. If you don’t want any of your other friends to know about this gift, you yourself could bring it up in conversation. For example, you could say, “Speaking of hair clips, do you have one?” As long as you are casual, they won’t suspect a thing. 

Generously,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

During the Christmas season my family has these candles with Christmas tree scent. The smell isn’t so bad, but it gives me a headache every time I smell it. My family blows it out when they see me because they know I don’t like it, but the smell lingers in the house for a long time. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Grinch

San Jose, CA

Dear Grinch,

I understand how you feel. I really hate scented hand soap, for example, but sometimes I just can’t avoid it. I think you should remind your family that you don’t like the candles and then ask them to stop using them. If it’s the particular smell you dislike, you could ask them to buy candles with different scents instead, or just buy candles that don’t have any added smell. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have a great Christmas season!

Aromatically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friends and I are doing presents, and I made sure to use the same price limit when buying each of my friends’ gifts. But some gifts have a lot of tiny stuff that together equals the price limit, while others are one big gift that meets the price limit. How do I make it look like they are equal gifts so that they do not get jealous of each other’s gifts?

Sincerely,

Ms. Elf

San Jose, CA

Dear Ms. Elf, 

Making people happy with the gift you give them can be hard. My advice to you would be to add a handmade card or even your own “bling.” This will make it seem special and personalized even if it’s just lot of small things. You could also wrap the gifts really nice so they both look equal; you may want to put them in fancy bags or use cool wrapping paper. Another idea is to give the gift to each friend separately so they don’t see the gifts you’re giving to your other friends. Most importantly, remember not to feel bad. If you thought of them while getting the gift, then they should be happy when they open it up. No matter what you’ve gotten them, I am sure they will love it!

Happy holidays,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I am doing a Secret Santa with my friends. And I do not know what to get the person whose name I drew, even though I have been friends with them for a long time.

Sincerely,

Confused Santa

Denver, CO

Dear Confused Santa,

I’ve been in the same situation. You could get your friend something related to their interests or hobbies, if you know what they are. If you don’t, you can try to subtly ask them during a conversation. Even if you don’t do that, I’m sure they’d always appreciate something handmade, like a card. If they celebrate Christmas, which they probably do if you’re doing a Secret Santa, then you can get them an ornament, or some other decoration, if you’re really stuck. Whatever you do, as long as you put effort into it, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.

Secretly,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 1

Welcome to our newly revived advice column, Ask The Mask! “The Mask” is a group of middle school students eager to help with all your dilemmas. If you’re a middle school student (or a bit younger or older) and would like The Mask to give you advice, please fill out this anonymous form. Okay, on to our first batch of letters!

Dear Mask,

The winter social is coming up, and I don’t know what to do. I always think I’ll enjoy socials, but once I get there, I feel excluded from my friend group and end up standing in the corner. I know they don’t mean to do it, and I just don’t like dancing. But if I don’t go, I feel excluded from all their conversations about the social, and any drama that I missed. Should I go to the winter social or not?

Sincerely,

Excluded Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Excluded Friend,

If you enjoy socials, you should go! I understand that you may feel excluded because you are not in the mood to dance. My first piece of advice to you is to give dancing a try. Tell your friend group to teach you some dance moves. You may find that you come to enjoy dancing and being silly with your friends. If you still are not feeling it, try inviting your friends to the activities set up in the back room. This will give you a chance to hang out with your friend group, get filled in about all the drama, and be part of the conversation without feeling left out. There might be times when your friends are busy dancing, but don’t worry: You are not the only one who is uninterested in dancing. I recommend using this as an opportunity to connect with other people who are not in the mood to dance. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun at the social!

Inclusively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I want to ask someone to the winter social at my school. My mom says that I should go with friends or just by myself, but I want to ask this guy. We have had an interesting history of me doing jokes with him that lead to me being mean. But I have changed and I don’t know whether to ask him or to do what my mom says.

Sincerely,

Winter Lover

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Winter Lover,

The social is a special time for kids, friends, and even for siblings. You are ready to ask someone out, and that shows that you have a lot of courage, which I don’t think I will ever have. I understand that your mom is making things difficult by saying that you should go with friends or by yourself, which can sound unfair. It may not have occurred to you that your mom might be trying to protect you from getting hurt. But don’t get mad, because your mom used to be a kid too, and she probably knows what she’s talking about. I’m not necessarily siding with your mom, because you could always ask the person you like to the dance, but I am warning you that some people do say no, and it seems like that could be what your mom is trying to protect you from. Just make sure you trust your gut, and I know you will have fun no matter what!

Socially,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

There’s someone I’ve been best friends with since fourth grade. They used to sit with me at lunch every day, but now they have different friends who they want to hang out with. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Lonely Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Lonely Friend,

Having your friends make more friends can be hard. What if you had a really great friendship? What happens if no one else wants to be friends with you? There are a few ways to deal with this, though. For example, you could be more inviting with the new friends that your best friend has. By doing this, you could even end up being friends with these new people, even though right now you may think it’s not possible. Another option is to find new friends, and this situation can give you time to explore other options. Remember that your friend having others friends does not mean that they will replace you.

In friendship,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I’m not a very social person and I never really have been. I’ve always been too afraid of embarrassing myself in front of everyone. For example, when I do presentations in front of my class, I always want to get it over with as soon as possible so I talk very fast and no one can understand anything I’m saying. I also have a speech and debate class in school coming up soon (the class is mandatory). I’m terrified to do the class while I want to overcome my fear of embarrassing myself and all in all just be a social person in the future. Please help me solve this problem.

Sincerely,

Shy Gal

San Jose, CA

Dear Shy Gal,

I understand your struggle. I had to go through the same thing when I took public speaking. I would talk fast and no one would have a clue what I was saying. During the class, though, I learned tips that could help with both of our problems. One way is to tell the audience that you are nervous, so that they can understand how you are feeling, and that might even make you feel better by itself. If talking fast seems to be your main problem, this can be solved as well. My parents always tell me to talk slower than usual during a presentation and you will actually be talking at the right pace. I’m not saying, like, sloth-slow pace, but at least where you notice that you are talking more slowly. These tips have helped me a lot with presentations, and I hope these will help you too. 

Calmly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I keep getting sick, and it’s because not many are wearing masks nowadays. Can you please do something? Like, maybe tell the head of the school to help? Tell the head to please require everybody to wear masks again?

Sincerely,

Some Random Guy

San Jose, CA

Dear Some Random Guy,

I completely understand your frustration. Many people have gotten sick because we’re more vulnerable now after wearing masks for so long. Unfortunately, I don’t think many people are open to the idea of requiring masks again. Instead, you could ask your friends, or people you sit with frequently, to wear their masks to make you more comfortable. You could also encourage your friends and classmates to make sure to wash their hands before lunch, and to stay home if they have any symptoms. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and do what you can to keep yourself safe. 

Best of luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I am a huge 49ers fan, and in the last game Jimmy Garoppolo’s foot was broken after a 300-pound defensive lineman fell on his foot. Now the 49ers’ third-string quarterback Brock Purdy will have to lead the team for the remainder of the season. Brock played pretty well in the first game, but it is still hard to be competitive in the postseason with a third string. How can I better accept the fact that a third string will be leading my team for the rest of the season?

Sincerely,

Sad Fan

San Jose, CA

Dear Sad Fan,

I understand exactly how you feel. It is always so annoying when one of our team’s best players gets injured. My advice to you is to let out your anger and bad feelings. Talk to your friends about how you feel, or draw a face on an orange peel and vent to that. Hopefully they will relate to your 49ers anger. If one of your friends happens to be a fan of the team that injured Jimmy, you can say things to them like, “The 49ers are better than all the Dolphins players combined!”, or, “You’re just happy because you know that one of our best players is out of the season! Watch what happens next year!” Just as long as you keep it nonviolent. I wish Jimmy a fast recovery.

Stay strong,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask is back! An all-new staff of writers and advice-givers is ready to tackle an all-new mailbag of letters from YOU. Here's the Google Form, where you can submit your anonymous letter. Send us your problems, people!