Ask The Mask, Issue 8

Our bonus feature this week is "Ask The Mask, By the Numbers," a look into the letters we've received in our digital mailbag over the seven weeks we've been open for business so far, compiled by two of our staff writers, Dhruv and Rohan. Also, congratulations to the fifth grade visitors who helped our staff write the first two responses in this issue!

For those who are visiting for the first time: "The Mask" is a group of middle school students eager to help with your dilemmas related to the pandemic. If you're a middle school student and would like The Mask to give you advice, please fill out this anonymous form. If we don't get to yours right away, keep checking back because it might appear in a future issue.

Dear Mask,

I have previously only gotten A grades, occasionally a B or two. Recently I got my first and only F. Immediately after this happened, my parents began constantly yelling at me and scolding me, rather harshly instructing me to correct my grade, when I was already doing that. I am fully aware of everything that is happening, I'm not clueless, but they act like I'm oblivious to my problems. Advice?

Sincerely,

Stressed-Out Idiot

San Jose, CA

Dear Stressed-Out Idiot,

You aren’t the only one with slipping grades; many people go through this at some point. Here’s some advice to help you get your grades up. You can take some extra time to study and do assignments. You can try emailing your teachers and actively try to find ways to bring your grade up as quickly as possible. Tell your parents you are taking these steps so that they stop yelling at you. Make sure you aren’t overworking yourself, though; it’s good to take some breaks. Even though your parents might be frustrated, I know you have the capability to bring your grades up. Good luck!

No pressure! 

The Mask

Dear Mask,

The popular kids at school don't like me very much, to the point where they basically hate me. I used to joke around about how "everyone hates me" and my friends and I would laugh. Even though I started the joke, recently my friends have been using it more and more to put me down. "There's the girl that everyone hates!" And stuff. Although it's a joke, I'm so done with everyone hating me. What do I do to stop the jokes, and even more importantly, get people to like me?

Sincerely,

Joking Jill

San Francisco, CA

Dear Joking Jill,

I know many people have had this issue. Things that start as a joke go in the wrong direction. One thing to remember is that there are probably people who don’t hate you and friends you can talk to. One thing you could do is try talking to your friends about how the jokes are making you feel, and ask them to please stop. If they don’t stop, you could try making some new friends who don’t make jokes like that. You could try talking to your parents, teacher, or another trusted adult about this, too, so they can help.

I believe in you!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

One of the good things during this pandemic is that I finally know what to be when I grow up: a politician! A congresswoman, to be exact. During this election, I realized I had a really big passion for this subject, and I've been following politics and watching the news with my parents non-stop. I've become fascinated with the world of politics, views, and problems. Heck, I want to be the next Kamala Harris! One of the things that really got me going is that there has never been a woman president, and only now is there a woman vice president. There really aren't as many women in politics as there should be. I've read articles and watched videos on how difficult it is for a woman to run for office or really be taken seriously, because they are held to higher standards. They need to be lots more qualified than men to prove that they can be just as good. I'm a feminist, and really passionate about this topic. But I feel whenever I talk about this in class, it starts to get awkward. Even though I've said stuff on this topic, I don't feel comfortable sharing most of what's on my mind on this subject, even though I have a desperation to. I'm afraid of how some people will react and think of me when I say things. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be a feminist, but after certain reactions and comments about women’s empowerment and stuff in that alley from people in my grade, I feel a desperate need to say what I want to say, but I don't know how to say my feelings properly, in a way that will be respected by everyone. Should I just keep these thoughts to myself? Thanks for your help. 

Sincerely,

Flustered Feminist

San Jose, CA

Dear Flustered Feminist,

I understand your frustrations. The government is not representative of who actually lives in our country. I also understand how you feel about getting judged for what you believe. I know how hard it is when someone disagrees with what you think. It can make you feel bad. If you believe in something so strongly, you shouldn't let what other people think put you down or make you doubt yourself. If or when you do say something, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, like you said. Since you want to be the next Kamala Harris, you could look for videos of her when she was in the Senate and learn from what she said and how she would respond to questions from the media that put her in a tough situation. You can learn from the vice president’s mistakes and successes: What did she do right? What did she do wrong? If you feel like your peers who are saying things that are putting you down aren't stopping, it might be a good idea to find some people who either agree with you or who won't put you down, and practice with them what you want to say. When your peers are saying disrespectful things, you might want to confront them; otherwise they will have no motivation to stop. For situations in class, your teacher can also help you deal with those people. I know you can overcome this problem.

Go feminism!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My sister always comes in and annoys me. She tries to say hi to my friends and teachers during Zoom class. Any ways to fix this?

Annoyed Brother

San Jose, CA

Dear Annoyed Brother,

I understand your situation; I also have a little sister who is just about 10 times more annoying than yours, just to put it out there… But anyway… What you should do is talk to a parent to ask her to stop. She might listen to them more than she listens to you. You could also ask your sister directly to stop doing the things that annoy you. Or ask for a different room to do your Zoom classes.

Ssssssh,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I got back from a hike to find out that one of my siblings got the virus. I now have to spend ALL my days at home for the next two weeks! I won't get to see my friends at school! I also don't really know what to do if you share the same house with someone that has the virus. I'm very upset that I have to stay home and do everything virtual AND share a house with someone with the virus. What should I do?

Upset Sibling

San Jose, CA

Dear Upset Sibling, 

That situation isn’t good. However, you can still make the best out of it. Even though you can’t see your friends at school, you can still hang out with them virtually. I would suggest FaceTiming, playing a video game, or even watching a movie with them. All three of these can be fun options that can keep your friends safe. To keep yourself safe, I would wear a mask when you aren’t in your bedroom, wash your hands before eating or touching your face, and maintain as much distance from your infected siblings as possible.

Stay healthy!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have been experiencing lots of internal turmoil about sandwiches. I love making sandwiches and I can never decide whether to have crusts or cut them out. Thoughts? 

Sincerely,

Toast Esquire II

San Jose, CA

Dear Toast Esquire II,

That is a really hard dilemma, those crusts. Well, if you take off the crust then you don't get all the protein, scientifically speaking. Also, by taking the crust off you waste a lot. But if you use it to make bread crumbs, that gives you many crumbs. What I would do is cut half of the crust off so you get the best of both worlds. Did you know that scientists have discovered that bread crumbs are a great substitute for sugar? You could make bread crumb cookies instead of sugar cookies! Wait, I just got another idea… Life hacks says that you can fix your iPhone screen with toothpaste. You might be able do the same thing with bread crumbs.

Moistly,

The Mask

Are you ready to write to The Mask? Here's the anonymous form. Check back soon for a new issue of Ask The Mask!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Issue 7

Our new issue contains the first of many "bonus features" on our website! This week's bonus feature is a history of advice columns, researched and written by two of our staff writers, Molly and Mia. We'll add new bonus features each week. Plus: This week's column includes new letters from as far away as Texas, Canada, and even France!

For those who are visiting for the first time: "The Mask" is a group of middle school students eager to help with your dilemmas related to the pandemic. If you're a middle school student and would like The Mask to give you advice, please fill out this anonymous form. If we don't get to yours right away, keep checking back because it might appear in a future issue.

Dear Mask,

A person I know is going through a lot. She came to my school a year ago and hates it sometimes. Why she hates school is because no one wants to get close to her. They do not even want to be in the same room as her. The reason why is because she does not have good hygiene. She also does not look clean. Her hair has dirt in it and it clumps together. She also scribbles with markers all over herself. She goes crazy sometimes when she gets mad… Another thing is people talk about her behind her back, like "Does she live with skunks?" or "[She] smells worse than a rotting egg sandwich." And I cannot argue with them because she does. But every time I hear someone say something not nice about her, I stand up for her and say something like, "Treat people the way you want to be treated" or "Not cool, guys, cut it out." I told the teacher after it happened so many times that it was hard to keep track of the number. The teachers fixed it for a short period of time. Then we went to online school and no one could smell her, and she made a lot of friends. We came back to in-person school two months ago and now we are in junior high. She is now getting even more hate and I am doing my best standing up for her all the time. I treat her like I do with all of my other friends and she likes that because she does not get that often. But what more can I do? I can't defend her forever. The thing that bothers me the most is that she does not try, meaning she takes a shower every like two weeks and does not do a good job cleaning herself. And she has running water and lives in a nice house, and her mom and dad have well-paying jobs. How can I help her without seeming weird? 

Just want to help,

Hygiene

Texas

Dear Hygiene,

This is a tough situation! It sounds like you are handling it really well already by defending her when you can and letting an adult know. Here are a few tips that might be able to further help you in this situation. My first piece of advice would be to keep being a good friend. Even if it is hard sometimes, just keep being kind. My next piece of advice would be for her hygiene. If the two of you are close enough, you could try giving her a gift of maybe perfume or other hygiene products. As for her behavior when she’s mad, I suggest either trying to calm her down when she's mad or, if that doesn’t work, talking to a teacher or an adult about it. Overall, I think you are handling this situation really well already and I think it’s really nice that you want to help your friend. It shows you are dedicated to her, and she's lucky to have you.

Good luck!  

The Mask

Dear Mask,

In quarantine, I have problems of being bored and not knowing what to do. I have a problem of being annoying to my parents when bored, so I want to fix this issue. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Bored Boy

San Jose, CA

Dear Bored Boy,

I know how you feel. Life is very difficult at a time like this. You might try and find a new hobby. I definitely do not suggest annoying your parents. Instead of annoying them, try to spend quality time with them. For example, you can watch a movie together or play a board game. Also try to socialize with people online. You can FaceTime your friends and talk to them. You can also search up things to do when you're bored and try one of the things that come up. This is a good time to be creative and find something new to get into.

Enjoy your adventures!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I really want to see my cousins, but they live on the East Coast. I want to call them, but they never answer my texts.

Sincerely,

Meowmeow

San Jose, CA

Hi Meowmeow,

I am sorry to hear that. I want you to know that you are not alone; many other cousins do not reply to texts or calls. I think that you should think about what time it is on the East Coast and make sure it does not conflict with them because they are three hours ahead. They also may just be bad at texting and calling back, like me! Try asking them if there is a good time for you to call or text them. If they don’t answer, they just might not want to talk to you, and you have to respect that. It's not the ideal situation, but I believe in you and your cousins’ relationship!

All the best,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My teacher is frustrating. They keep making up rules and then changing them! I don't know what I can do anymore! What should I do?!

Sincerely,

Confused Cat

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Cat,

That seems hard to deal with. But you can just ask, “Hi Mr./Ms. [teacher’s name], I am confused about the rules, and I don’t understand. Can you please help?” You can also try asking another classmate about the rules, and work with them.

Good luck!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friend is very angry with me and I don't know why. He is ignoring me, and I don't know how to convince him to talk to me. I haven't done anything to make him mad. I get very anxious. Please help me, Mask.

Sincerely,

Mr. Niceman

Ottawa, Ontario

Dear Mr. Niceman,

I’m so sorry. This has happened to me, too. I would suggest talking to your friend. I would just tell him you notice he hasn’t been talking to you as much lately. Maybe ask him if there is a reason why or if you are doing something wrong. It’s never fun to feel like you are doing something wrong, and I hope you guys can figure it out.

Hopefully,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Between school and Covid-19, it's becoming really hard to keep in touch with my friends. I do hang out with them about one time a week, but other than that, I have no way of talking to them because I don't have my own phone or a personal email. What can I do to stay in touch with them?

Sincerely,

Can't Get in Contact

San Jose, CA

Dear Can’t Get in Contact,

What you could do is ask your parent or guardian to let you use their email or to get you an email. Or you could ask your parents to speak with your friends’ parents to see if you can meet up in a game on a call. Thanks for sending us this letter. Sometimes family rules that made sense before Covid-19 make it really hard now for people to stay in touch, and staying in touch is important.

Good luck!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

It's a new year, and we are leaving the worst year of my life in the past. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see what I looked like in 2020 and then I am sad. I want to change my appearance, but I am undecided and I also do not know if this is just a phase I am going through. Should I cut my hair short or keep it long? Should I dye my hair pink, blue, or not at all? Or maybe change the way I dress? Help me!

Sincerely,

New Year New You

Lyon, France

Dear New Year New You,

In my opinion, everyone is perfect the way they are. But if you do change your appearance, it's your choice what you want to look like. Once you find something that you like, you can take advice from your family and friends on what they think. If you dye your hair, you should use washable hair dye so if you don't like it you can wash it off.

Sincerely,

The Mask

Are you ready to write to The Mask? Here's the anonymous form. Check back soon for a new issue of Ask The Mask!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Issue 6

Our inauguration week issue of Ask The Mask begins with two politics-themed letters! We also reply to questions about dealing with friends, parents, and pandemic bedtime. For those who are visiting for the first time: "The Mask" is a group of middle school students eager to help with your dilemmas related to the pandemic. If you're a middle school student and would like The Mask to give you advice, please fill out this anonymous form. If we don't get to yours right away, keep checking back because it might appear in a future issue.

Dear Mask,

The political state of America is probably the worst we’ve seen in a very long time. So we often talk about it at school. I like these sessions because I get to express my opinion and discuss it with others. However, it’s hard to contain myself when another classmate has an opinion very different than mine. Knowing what’s “right” and what’s “wrong” is a grey area. What do I do when a discussion turns into a heated debate?

Sincerely,

Debater

San Jose, CA

Dear Debater, 

I totally understand your dilemma. It's hard not knowing if what you are saying is insulting to others; that’s something even a lot of politicians don't know! I have some tips for you when you're in a discussion. First, try to think about how you say things. For example, you could say something that isn't directed as an insult but could come out in a way that could make someone else feel bad about their political stance or beliefs. Another tip is to have a practice debate with someone you know and who trusts you. You could play devil's advocate and act as if you were advocating for another side. It's a good way to step back and look at everything from another perspective. Something I like to do is watch the House or Senate debates. It's a good chance to see what they are saying and how they say it so it doesn't offend other members of Congress, although sometimes that does happen. If your conversation does turn into a debate that makes you uncomfortable or uncertain, try changing the topic in a subtle way. If you want to keep the conversation going, you could propose continuing it later. I hope this helps you, and I hope you do well in your debates!

I rest my case,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I'm very involved in politics. I volunteer my time to phone banks, I write letters to politicians I disagree with and agree with, and I want to be a politician when I'm older. Frankly, I know exactly what I want to do when I'm older. My question is how can I get even more involved with politics while being quarantined and at home? 

Sincerely,

Future Congresswoman

San Jose, CA

Dear Future Congresswoman,

I know exactly how you feel. I aspire to be a member of Congress as well, and at the beginning of quarantine, I felt the same way you do. Here are a few things that I did to help me stay involved. First, I started a blog. My blog was focused specifically on the 2020 presidential election, and I would analyze all of the debates, statements, and important ideas from all of the candidates and post about them. Another thing you could do is try to find people that share the same interest as you. One way that I found this was through my school’s speech and debate club, where I participated in mock Senate sessions and debated bills. Even if you don’t want to join a club like that or have access to one, I recommend finding a group or maybe some friends that you know to talk with about politics. I know it’s hard with Covid-19, but just keep putting yourself out there and keep trying to make yourself heard. Good luck getting involved, and I look forward to running against you one day! 

I’m The Mask, and I approve this message

Dear Mask,

Ever since quarantine started, I've been going to bed later and waking up later. An example is the fact that it is 1:39 a.m. right now! I'm going to bed right after this, I promise! Is there a way that I could fix my sleep schedule even though I have no motivation to?

Sincerely,

Stupid Sleep Schedule

[location unlisted]

Dear Stupid Sleep Schedule,

That has happened to me before, so I can completely relate. Here's a few things you could try that have helped me solve this problem. I suggest going to your bedroom and reading at an earlier time, like 8:00 for example, until you get tired. This helped for me because when I had a really good book to read, I was looking forward to going to bed earlier. The difficult thing about this method is that it does take a good and exciting book to look forward to (if you want recommendations, you can submit another question to Ask The Mask!). You can also try going to bed earlier, for example at 9:00, and turning off all of the lights, removing any distractions that you may have in the room like your phone, computer, or iPad, and maybe turning on some relaxing music to help you sleep.

Sweet dreams!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have some issues with my friends. They keep begging me to go to school in person, but I don't want to. Even after I told them about my thoughts, they still beg me to go in person. Should I stop calling and talking to them?

Sincerely,

Mr. Bumbuhbum

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Mr. Buhbuhbum,

I’m sorry about what you are going through. In my opinion, you shouldn’t take it that personally because they are your friends. Unless they are being really mean about it, you should still be friends with them. Friends will be friends. Think about it like this: They want you there at school with them so much that they keep nagging you. Take it in a good way because you know now that they are your friends. They are eager to talk to you. You can keep insisting you are staying at home and also appreciate how much they like you.

Hope this helps!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My dad makes me ski really hard runs, and I want to tell him, "Back off, Father, I wanna stay in my little blue box." But I'm scared that he's gonna get mad and be disappointed! What should I do to tell him off?

Sincerely,

Skiing Scandal

San Jose, CA

Dear Skiing Scandal,

I can relate a bunch to this. My own parents trick me on doing the hardest ski slopes and it's not fun, especially when I don’t enjoy pushing myself. You do not need to be rude to your dad, either. You still need to be nice. But you do not seem ready for that level of skiing, and if you aren’t ready you shouldn’t do it. I think you should tell him that you don’t feel comfortable and ready. Hopefully he will respect your opinion and not force you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable with yet. Let him know that you’d like support as you get yourself ready to do harder runs.

Brrrr,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have been at home forever. Usually I am not at home much because I go to school and then straight to the gym for four hours. I am getting tired and want to go outside and do something, even though I can't. How do I keep myself entertained inside even though I really want to go outside when I can't?

Sincerely,

Bored

San Jose, CA

Dear Bored,

I get what you are saying. We all want to go outside to play. If you have a backyard, you can go play something there. If you have siblings, you can ask them to play with you. You can also go on a hike or bike ride. You can play hide and go seek around the block with your siblings or with friends. But make sure if you play with friends, ask for permission first. There are lots of things to do; you just need to think outside the box.

We’re all in this together!

The Mask

Are you ready to write to The Mask? Here's the anonymous form. Check back soon for a new issue of Ask The Mask!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.