Ask The Mask, Issue 13

This week marks one full year since everything changed. It also marks the final issue of Ask The Mask, as our trimester comes to a close and we prepare to enjoy a new batch of electives this spring. Since launching in December, we have received over 150 letters in our mailbag and responded to a majority of them. To everyone who wrote in: We appreciate your openness and your willingness to share your problems with the wider community. We hope we've been able to help you manage during this difficult time. This website will stay up, to provide you with inspiration and advice -- both serious and silly -- for a long time to come. And perhaps one day The Mask will start up again, with a new staff and new problems to figure out. But for now, stay safe and take care of one another. Here's our final batch of letters:

Dear Mask,

I'm not really sure who I am. I see myself as a friend and sister, but I really don't know anything about myself. How do I know who I am? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't know who they are. I feel like an outsider and like I'm different. I'm not asking you to tell me who I am because I don't know myself. But how do I figure out who I am?

Sincerely,

Who Am I?

San Jose, CA

Dear Who Am I,

Here is my advice for you. Do what you want to do. And try new things that sound interesting to you. This can help you learn about who you are, by finding hobbies you enjoy without the influence of other people like your friends or parents. Don’t worry about feeling like the only person who doesn’t know who they are because trust me, you're not. A lot of people, maybe even people close to you, are feeling the same way. Also, don’t feel like you really even have to “find” yourself. You are you. Embrace that.

Supportively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

During quarantine, my family and I have been trying a lot of new activities together, and one of the things we do together that is most fun is hiking. However, during these hikes, my shoes get really dirty! Do you have any tips on how to clean them so that I can keep hiking?

Sincerely,

Upset Hiker

[location unlisted]

Dear Upset Hiker,

I know exactly what you mean! I have the dirtiest shoes from going on walks and hikes. I hate it! But since this has happened to me so many times, I’ve tried many ways to get all the dirt off of my shoes. One way is to put baking soda and warm water in a bowl and use a toothbrush to scrub your shoes. This works best on the type of shoe Vans are. But if you have a leather type of shoe, you can try getting a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, wet it, and scrub your shoes; all the dirtiness will come off. Have fun on your hikes with your clean shoes! 

Spotlessly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I'm a decently smart kid and get all A's, but I never feel any challenge when it comes to the school work. Most of the work we are doing I have already learned, so it makes school feel like a waste of time. What should I do? 

Sincerely,

Smart Kid

San Jose, CA

Dear Smart Kid,

I understand your problem and how it makes you feel. If you want to learn even more beyond what you already are doing in school, you could ask your teachers if there is anything more you can do, such as extra credit work or something that's just for fun. You could also go on the internet and look for challenging worksheets or for-fun educational videos that interest you. If your school offers any type of advanced program, try talking with your family and looking into them.

Hope this helps!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I always get ignored by a lot of people, and it makes me feel lonely and I don’t know what to do. I just want to make a friend because it is really hard having none. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Dr. Depression

San Jose, CA

Dear Dr. Depression,

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It can be tough not having a friend. You can try to talk to kids more in Zoom breakout rooms. You can find out more about the students in your class that way and ask them more about themselves, to build connections with them. You could also just play games with people you know. You could ask them nicely and you could make friends that way. Most people like being included in things, even if the person isn’t their friend (yet). I hope things get better for you.

Hang in there,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have been stressed out from school work. I don't know how to manage it. How should I stay calm? What should I do? 

Sincerely,

Stressed Out

San Jose, CA

Dear Stressed Out,

I have been in this situation, as well. Something I have found to be really helpful is setting goals. Do problems 3-6 tonight and 4-7 the next night. This will help manage the workload and break up the assignments into parts. After you finish your goal, it frees up time to do the things you enjoy while feeling stress-free.

Relax!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My family just got a new dog, but the dog seems to only like our dad! I want some doggy love too! Do you have any advice? 

Sincerely,

Dog Lover

San Jose, CA

Dear Dog Lover,

I understand where you’re coming from. I'm sure your dog already loves you! If you want your dog to grow more fond of you, then you should take care of it the most. That's what usually makes your pet love you lots. It's mostly the food, though, so if you do most of the feeding, then the dog will love you the most. But that's not always the case: It could be the walks or playing with the dog. Whatever your dog likes the most, then that should be your target. I hope this helps!

Rub my belly!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I was watching a show and it’s about monsters and stuff. You may have heard of it. Stranger Things? It’s super scary, and now I’m scared to go outside of my room. How do I build a trap for monsters so I can hurt them? 

Sincerely,

Euphrates River

[location unlisted]

Dear Euphrates River,

We all have been down this path before. We all have been afraid that monsters are going to find us. I have watched Stranger Things, as well. It’s a really good, and scary, show. For the trap part: Throw water balloons if you see a monster, because monsters can’t stand water. Make it ice cold too. If it gets too scary, tell your parents and maybe you can take a break. Watch something that isn’t scary. Hope the trap works out. Don’t let the demogorgons find you!  

Boo!

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Issue 12

Our bonus feature this week is Part 2 of the video interviews with school administrators about our most frequently asked questions. We have one more issue to go until the end of the trimester. Even though our submission link has now closed, we've saved some of the best letters for last. Enjoy!

Dear Mask,

Some time ago, you wrote a credible account on the crust condition of a common consumable [Issue 8, from "Toast Esquire II"]. I commend your commentary, but contest your conclusion as you conveniently failed to consider a crucial characteristic: the structural stability of the sandwich. So as I snack on my sandwich, say simply, should this supreme source of sustenance smush subtly or save shape? Save my sanity and state the solution!

Sincerely,

Sandwich Squire

Arenas de la Bruja, CA

Dear Sandwich Squire,

Sounds like you’re in a pickle! You’ve pointed out a powerful problem, and your passion is appreciated here at our pandemic advice column. Please be patient so I can point out the potential for a powerful perimeter for your sandwich. Is your sandwich so soft that it smushes instantaneously without the structural stability of a crust? See, your frustration is formed from the fact that your bread is too fresh! If after purchase you fling it in the fridge for a fortnight, the bread’s surface will become as stiff as a slate of sheet metal. Even without the crust, your sandwich will never surrender its shape or structure. But because of this, it may be best to bite your bread bit by bit.

Bon appetit!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My problem is my brother. He got Covid, and now we all have to quarantine. He’s always a big problem, and it’s so annoying, I just can’t with him. So now I have to quarantine, but I really hoped we could just lock him away and never see him again. Well, that’s my problem.

Sincerely,

Bec 

Haleiwa, Hawaii

Dear Bec,

You’re right about one thing: You do have a problem. Seriously, what is your problem?! What kind of person disrespects their sibling who has just gotten a life-threatening virus?! Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that he’s the one with the more serious problem, and your job, as his sibling, is to support him through it. Quarantining is the least you can do. Hopefully you never get Covid, but if you do, you’ll be lucky if your brother lifts a finger to help you.

Enjoy your lockdown,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a pretty big problem. My father is smoking (vaping, not real cigarettes), and he always hides it from me and my mom. Here is an example: When we were out, and I was far away from my dad, he smoked, and then I asked why he put his hand to his mouth. He told me that his mouth hurt. Is there a way to convince my dad to stop vaping? Both my mom and I have already asked him to stop, but he just ignored both of us. Please respond asap. I want to help.

Sincerely,

Worried Kid

San Jose, CA

Dear Worried Kid,

I bet this is hard. I get where you're coming from; one of my close family members used to vape, and it was not fun for me and my family. It's hard for someone to stop. I'm sure he wants to, but he is having trouble stopping. Since you and your mom are getting worried about it, maybe you could talk to a doctor about strategies to help someone ease off of vaping or smoking. It is hard when a family member is doing something that is bad for their health. I hope things go well for you and your mom and your dad.

Good luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I'm in a tricky situation. Over quarantine, I started to become closer friends with the guys in my grade, and we played some video games together. Then, after most of us came back to school, they started ignoring me since they didn't want to be seen with me at school. I tried my best to keep whatever friendship we had during the weeks of online school, but now, I'm afraid it just wasn't worth it. What should I do for them to like me again?

Sincerely,

Friendless Frenzy

San Jose, CA

Dear Friendless Frenzy,

I’m so sorry to hear that. Think about it this way: If they don't want to hang out at school, they might not be a good friend. What makes you want to be friends with them? If you thought they were nice, they’ve now revealed their true colors. Try talking with them to see if there is something wrong. But honestly, you might be happier making new friends who aren’t so afraid of what other people think. As the Greatest Showman said, “You don't need everyone to love you, just a good few people.”  

With friendship,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Covid has been getting better, but I’m not. My room is a complete mess and I just watch it get worse every day because I have no motivation. It's also like this with homework. I look at it every day, all of my missing assignments, and I try to do something but I can't. How can I help this?

Sincerely,

Person with No Motivation

San Jose, CA

Dear Person with No Motivation,

I understand how difficult this must be for you. You feel like you have no motivation to do things you used to do all the time. I have a few suggestions. You could try to set a goal for yourself and reward yourself when you meet the goals. This is a good way to be on track while gaining some motivation. The goals could be anything, whether it's cleaning your room for ten minutes or finishing an assignment from a few weeks ago. If you are having trouble with school and that’s why you are not completing your assignments, you should try talking to your teachers and figuring out something that will work better for you so you can have more motivation to finish your assignments. I hope this works for you and I wish you the best!

Good luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a new carpet that I got and it's pink. My mom thinks pink is still my favorite color. She wont stop buying me pink stuff! How do I tell her to stop?

Sincerely,

Miss Gurl

San Jose, CA

Dear Miss Gurl,

I know how you feel. You can start giving your mom hints that pink is not your favorite color, or you can tell her straight on. You have to be gentle with it because she is just trying to be nice and make you happy. Try saying something like this: “Hi, Mom. Thank you for all the pink stuff that you have been giving me. I love them and can’t wait to use the new rug. In the future, may I please pick out my own stuff? I think that I want more of a variety of colors. Even though I want a new variety of colors, I am flattered that you remembered that pink was one of my favorite colors. This does not mean that I do not want your help picking out new stuff, though, and you pick out such cool stuff for me. Thank you for everything!” 

It’s all about the pink!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

It has been really hard for me to navigate going back to in-person school and still having school online. It is hard for me to focus when I’m online, and I wish there was a way to make sure I am always on top of things.

Sincerely,

Unfocused School Kid

Eagle, Idaho

Dear Unfocused School Kid,

I know how you feel. I was going to school hybrid for a while, and at one point I was also struggling to stay on top of things. Here are some things I did that might help you, too. The first thing I did was start using a planner. I wrote down all of my assignments and things I needed to do and their due date so I would stay on task. Another thing that helped me is for about an hour after school, I put all my distractions, like my phone, iPad, etc., into another room and focused on my school work. I also understand how it can be hard to focus when using a computer. Something that helped me is that my best friend and I often study together, so we both help each other stay on topic. I hope this helps!

Good luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I am very irritated because recently my brothers have been annoying me. I am the only girl in my family, and I feel constantly annoyed by how immature my brothers are (even though one may or may not be older than I am). Do you have any advice on how to make them stop annoying me?

Sincerely,

rachelaverygonazalaz

San Jose, CA

Dear rachelaverygonazalaz,

I totally understand where you are coming from. Siblings are hard to deal with. They purposely try to annoy you for attention. Brothers are often the most immature ones. I get that it's hard considering you are the only girl; that's never fun. Maybe try telling your brothers how you feel. But I know that is probably hard, considering the fact that they are immature boys who won’t take you seriously. So maybe try telling a parent or guardian about how your brothers are acting and see if they can help. The good news is that they will probably grow out of their immaturity in a few years.

Good luck!

The Mask

Are you ready to write to The Mask? Here's the anonymous form. Check back soon for a new issue of Ask The Mask!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Issue 11

Since the winter trimester ends soon, this coming Wednesday, March 3, is the final day to submit letters to Ask The Mask. If you have been waiting for the right time, the right time has arrived!

Our bonus feature this week is a "podcast"-style look behind the scenes of Ask The Mask, featuring many of our staff writers discussing their process for responding to letters. Thank you to Maddie and her committee for producing it! Also, thanks to our new friend Jesse for helping us reply to two of the letters in this issue.

For those who are visiting for the first time: "The Mask" is a group of middle school students eager to help with your dilemmas related to the pandemic. If you're a middle school student and would like The Mask to give you advice, please fill out this anonymous form.

Dear Mask,

Some would consider 2020 one of the most difficult years of the 21st century, and that is not an understatement, but I think that it is also important to look at the positive side of things. We are able to socialize more with our siblings and direct family, and are able to understand how we took for granted the simplest of things, such as spending time with our friends. For me, 2020 was a big part of me growing as a person, and I hope that whoever is seeing this on their screen is thinking the same thing as me: that 2021 is a year for improvement, and that it will be better than 2020. 

Sincerely,

Anonymous Ali

Canterbury, England

Dear Anonymous Ali,

Yes, 2020 was a hard time, but with the change we all grew as people. With the vaccine rolling out, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. As poet Amanda Gorman said, “Even though everyone is alone, we are all alone together.” Everyone is alone right now, so we are all in the same situation. Overall, 2020 was hard, but as you said, we hope 2021 will be better. It’s up to us.

Happy new year!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Me and my brother were jumping on our trampoline, and my brother wanted to FaceTime his friend to show him his tricks on the trampoline. I took his iPad and FaceTimed his friend, and I wanted to get a chair so I could put the iPad on it so he could see more clearly. I put the iPad on the net of the trampoline, and my brother started jumping, and his iPad flipped out of the trampoline and the iPad broke! My brother blamed it all on me, and my parents want me to pay for the iPad now. 

Sincerely,

Jump Breaker 

[location unknown]

Dear Jump Breaker,

I understand your problem: You feel like you deserve justice for your brother's mistake. This is a tricky situation. You don’t want to get your brother in trouble, but you shouldn’t have to face his consequences. You should try talking to your parents in a calm way. Don't get frustrated because that will make them less likely to believe you. Instead, tell them what really happened, and explain why you didn’t break your brother's iPad. You could also try talking to your brother and explaining to him that you now have to pay for his iPad because he blamed you. You should ask him to pay for half because he was the one who broke the iPad. If you want to be even more responsible, you could both come to your parents together to all come to some sort of agreement.

Good luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have been trying to convince my parents to get me a new phone because it is old. I have some arguments, but I feel like she doesn't understand my perspective. I try to understand hers, but it is a bit hard. I don't know how to control my feelings at the same time.  

Sincerely,

Arguments

San Jose, CA

Dear Arguments,

I have dealt with this, as well, and it’s a tough situation. I think you should show your parents why you are deserving of a new phone. You can do this by using creativity and showing your knowledge. For example, you can make a presentation and lay out the reasons you should be able to get the phone, going into the pros of why you should be able to and the cons of what would happen if you don’t get it. Don’t be afraid to work hard to try and get your goal!

Good luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I just moved to New York. I used to live in Texas. People in my area are making fun of me. I'm in an online school, and in the chat they put “yeehaw” and stuff that "cowboys" would say. I'm from a big city in Texas; I wasn't a cowboy. How do I get the people off my back, and, more importantly, how do I make friends who don't think I'm a cowboy?

Sincerely,

I Have No Friends

New York, NY

Dear I Have No Friends,

That’s a tough situation. Here are my suggestions. First, you could let your classmates know you’re from a big city in Texas, and not everyone from Texas is a cowboy. You could also try to help your classmates get to know you better, which might help them realize you aren’t a cowboy. You could also ask your teacher to maybe give a presentation about your city so the people from New York can see that you are also from a city like them. You could try talking to a teacher about this so they could talk to your classmates about it.

Welcome to New York!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a good friend, but sometimes we have some arguments. We don't always agree on things. She is a bit too tactile and likes to be clingy. I really want to tell her, but then she does this look and I just don't like that look. She then doesn't talk to me. I try to tell her calmly, but it is hard for me to tell her. 

Sincerely,

Friendship

San Jose, CA

Dear Friendship,

I get it. My friends and I get into many arguments with each other, too. It's a natural thing. You don’t need to agree on everything with her. I get that it's hard to talk to her and tell her how you feel. But if she’s being clingy and you don’t like it, then you probably should tell her. You don’t have to be harsh about it; tell her in a calm way, even though I know it’s hard.

Good luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Ever since quarantine started, I've been missing my friends. How can I hang out with them while being safe?

Sincerely,

Bored and Cautious Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Bored and Cautious Friend,

I have been missing my friends, as well. If you are into video games, I would say that is a great way to connect. There are many games you can download on a phone and play virtually with friends for free, in whatever genre you like. For example, you can try Among Us. For a more board game feel, you can try out Game Pigeon or Uno. If you are into fighting games, try out Call of Duty Mobile. There are games for whatever you and your friends enjoy. Talking on the phone can also be fun, and if you don’t have access, set up a Zoom call. Although these may not be as fun as what you are used to, you can have a good time while protecting yourself and still being social.

Socially,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have to still keep in shape for the sport I play, so I exercise. But it can get really boring. I already have a couple ways for making it fun, like listening to music and audiobooks, but I'm trying to find some new ways. Any ideas?

Sincerely,

Bored Exerciser

San Jose, CA

Dear Bored Exerciser,

I have gone through this before, but I overcame it. One way you can motivate yourself is to make a small plan every day and truly do it. Play 20 minutes, then 30 minutes, then an hour or more eventually. You could even ask a family member to help. They could come play with you or help you do drills for your sport. Keep listening to music, because it will help you focus. Every day after you do it, you will feel good that you worked on your sport that day. Even as a reward to yourself, you could play those fun games that you were talking about in your letter. I have done these things before and you could do them, as well.

Ready to exercise!

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have been doing less well in school lately, and it's difficult for me to focus on what I am doing sometimes, causing my grades to drop. I often forget due dates, assignments, and to study for tests. I try to keep myself organized by making study plans, but then I end up stopping after a week or so. Do you have any tips on how to stay focused in school?

Sincerely,

Struggling Student

San Jose, CA

Dear Struggling Student,

I totally get what you are saying. I am sure many other people definitely also have this struggle. It is very hard to stay organized, especially when it comes to school. If making a study plan doesn’t work one week, then just try to keep making them until it becomes a habit. If this actually doesn’t work at all, then I would suggest listening to music while in school or having something to fidget with; even chewing gum could help you (if it’s allowed at your school). But maybe tell your teacher(s) what you are struggling with, or while they are teaching you could ask if they could explain it a second time. Keep on trying. You got this!

Sincerely,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Hello there. I do not know how to ride a scooter. What is the best type of scooter to buy, what other equipment do I need, and what are the best ways to practice? Thank You.

Sincerely.

Confused Middle Scooter

Pittsburgh, PA

Dear Confused Middle Scooter,

That stinks. All you really have to do is put both feet on the scooter and push forward. The best way to practice is to ride it around the neighborhood. I would recommend a helmet or and knee pads to protect yourself. I don’t know what the best scooter is, but you can look it up. Google has a lot of shops and recommendations.

Safe scooting!

The Mask

Are you ready to write to The Mask? Here's the anonymous form. Check back soon for a new issue of Ask The Mask!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.