Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 9

Welcome to our special Valentine's Day issue of Ask The Mask, where every letter is about having a crush on someone!

But first... last week, Ms. Osorio asked us for advice on how to get to know her sixth-grade niece better. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas! Here are our top three:

• "Maybe just strike up a conversation with her and do that a lot until she starts liking you so much that she starts telling you secrets or whatnot." ~ anonymous
• "In my personal experience, it is best not to talk to her. Save yourself and your sanity!" ~ anonymous
• "I have lunch duty on Thursdays with our sixth graders. You can join us if you have time!" ~ Dr. Ai

We have a few more weeks in the trimester, so please continue sending us letters, and we'll publish as many as we can. Okay, now on to our crushes!

Dear Mask,

Starting in fourth grade, I had a crush on this girl. I still do. But one time, I said a lot of creepy things to her, and now she still doesn't talk to me, ever. Can you fix this?

Sincerely,

Creepy Crusher

Dear Creepy Crusher,

Your crush has the right to be creeped out if you said creepy things to her. I can’t fix that. But I do have some advice for you: Speak to her in person. Have a one-on-one conversation with her and admit you did something wrong; don’t make excuses or try to blame someone else, and be sincere and apologetic. Tell her you are very sorry, assure her that you won’t ever speak to her like that again, and ask her if there is anything you can do for her. There is a chance that she will not forgive you, and that's okay; you might need to accept that. You should also think about why you said those creepy things in the first place. If you tell her that you won’t do things like that again, you have to actually follow through with it. I hope things work out for you, and for her.

Honestly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I got asked to a dance by this boy, and I really like him, but he's never been to a dance before. I think he might ask me a lot of questions, and what if I don't know how to answer them without hurting his feelings? Plus, he likes songs that you can't really dance to, and what if he makes a request for one of those songs and I get embarrassed?

Sincerely,

Excited Girl

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Excited Girl,

Good for you! You are going to a dance with a boy who has never been to a dance before. There is only one solution: You won't have to answer many of his questions if you just tell him everything he needs to know beforehand. Tell him which songs not to request and which songs to request, and tell him about the dancing and the general mood. If he does end up asking a question that you don't know how to answer politely, simply state the answer without any filler words or phrases; be very clear and concise. Also, don’t forget that part of the fun of going to a dance is letting it be a time when you can just be yourself, so if your date wants to request a non-danceable song, maybe you should let him. Don’t feel like you necessarily need to change him. I hope you have a wonderful time at the dance!

Boogying down,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a crush on my friend, but she's a little goofball. I’m pretty sure she's straight, but she always complains about her annoying boyfriend. I don't know how to tell her I like her. Please help.

Sincerely,

Goofy Girl

San Jose, CA

Dear Goofy Girl,

This is always a really frustrating and awkward situation. The first and probably simplest thing you can do is ask her about her sexuality. This can be uncomfortable, yes, but try to just casually bring it up. You have an important decision to make: If you do confess your feelings for her and she doesn't feel the same way, it can make your friendship pretty awkward; on the other hand, how will you know if you don't ask her? Sometimes you can’t do anything if she is already in a relationship, but you can always ask her general questions to get an idea, such as “Have you ever found a girl attractive?” Just be sure not to get in the middle of her relationship. I hope it works out for you!

Optimistically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I cheated on my boyfriend with his own brother! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I felt this overwhelming urge to kiss his brother during the school dance! What should I do? How should I tell him? Should I tell him?

Sincerely,

Cheater

Ohio

Dear Cheater,

This is a very difficult situation. Humans are strange creatures, and sometimes we get the undeniable urge to kiss our boyfriends’ brothers. But the truth is, you have to tell your boyfriend. You should be honest with him and tell him that you kissed his brother. This might seem hard, but it’s better than lying. If you don’t tell him, it will only hurt your relationship in the long run. Sometimes the best thing to do is the classic late-at-night deep-relationship talk to settle things out and explain how the kiss was simply hormonal and you regret it deeply. But also be sure to consider that if you had an undeniable urge to kiss your boyfriend's brother, there is a chance that you no longer have feelings for your boyfriend.

Honestly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My crush likes someone else, but I like them. The person my crush likes is my friend. I don’t want to lose my friend, but I really like my crush. What should I do?

Sincerely,

A Little Crush

San Jose, CA

Dear A Little Crush,

When you have a crush it can be very difficult, especially when they like someone else. My advice to you is to be honest with your friend about your feelings for your crush, and have a talk with them about the situation. See if your friend likes your crush back. If they don’t, ask your friend to make it clear to your crush that they don't have feelings for them. But if your friend does have feelings for your crush, you need to respect that and try to keep your romance life separate from your friendship. Also remember that people’s feelings change all the time. I wish you the best of luck!

Romantically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friend was accused of kissing someone and also having a crush on someone, but they don’t. And worst of all, it’s being rumored around. I don’t know what to do, but we both want it to stop. What do I do?!

Sincerely,

Confused Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Friend,

Stopping a rumor is hard. If you know who started the rumor, you can try to talk to them and let them know that it is false. Try to find out why it was spread; it could be a misunderstanding. The best thing to do in this situation is simply deny it whenever someone questions you about it. I know this is not the most efficient solution, but rumors tend to just blow over if you tell enough people it is false. But you also want to deny this rumor in a way that prevents the person your friend is accused of liking from feeling like there is something wrong with them. So instead of saying, “Ew, no, that person is ugly!”, you could explain that even though your friend doesn’t have feelings for this person and didn’t kiss them, they do like them as a friend.

Delicately,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have this friend and she's really pretty, but we are best friends and I don't know how to ask her on a date. I really don't want to make things awkward between us two if I ask her out. I have no idea what to do and I hope she really loves me back. Please help!

Sincerely,

Chunky Monkey

San Jose, CA

Dear Chunky Monkey,

It can be so weird to ask people out, especially when they are your friend. Before you ask her out, try figuring out if she likes you back. Ask her indirect questions or consult her friends. If none of this heeds results, I recommend waiting for the next school dance and asking her then. This way you can see what she says, and depending on her response, you can say you want to go just as friends… or as something more. It can be really hard to have a crush on a friend, with the overlying fear of ruining your friendship. The best thing to do is either go for it or wait and see if she likes you back. I hope it works out!

In anticipation,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 8

Before we reveal this week's new letters, it's time for a new teacher problem for you to solve! Here's Ms. Osorio:

If you have advice for our friend in the front office, please fill out this form. If we like your response, we might include it in our next issue! You can also continue sending The Mask letters about your own problems using the original form. Last week, Mr. Leonard and Ms. Self asked us for advice on how to help students who might be disappointed upon learning which role they have been assigned in a play. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas! Here are our top five:

• "I would tell people getting the cast list to be happy with whichever role they got." ~ Lydia
• "I think you should say they were perfect for that role and they were the only one for the role, and that's why they got that role." ~ Maddie
• "Each role is special in its own way. For example, if Ariel did not have Scuttle then she would not have made it to shore, and don't forget that if Cinderella did not have her mice then she would not have a dress to wear to the ball. Every role plays a big part in every story." ~ anonymous
• "Announce the cast list online on a Friday night. That way everyone can cry all weekend and be ready to rehearse on Monday." ~ anonymous
• "Just tell them the cast list was randomly generated on a website and you didn't choose it (but you actually did and you're lying)." ~ Frank

Okay, now for our new letters:

Dear Mask,

My older brother keeps punching me and won't stop. How do I beat him up as payback?

Sincerely,

Lil Bro

San Jose, CA

Dear Lil Bro,

Some very old and wise philosopher once said, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Do not, I repeat DO NOT, beat him up as payback. This inevitably will lead to more violence. If your brother is really punching you, tell a parent or other adult about the matter. When you find him at your throat, sometimes the best thing to do is just walk away and not give him the satisfaction of your fear or anger. I hope your situation improves.

Nonviolently,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I get really frustrated when my friends say they like a teacher just because they get more free time in that class or the teacher doesn’t check their homework, or that they don’t like a teacher who gives actually difficult assignments. I think it’s unfair to the teachers who put so much effort into making a challenging and compelling class, because students just like the teachers who don’t teach them anything. I try to tell them that the most lenient teachers aren’t always the best, but they still prefer classes that give them more time to chat with friends. Are my friends right? Am I a teacher’s pet?

Sincerely,

Teachers’ Pet

San Jose, CA

Dear Teachers’ Pet,

Your friends are wrong; you’re not a teacher’s pet. A teacher’s pet is a person who tries their best to be looked favorably upon by the teacher to get a better grade. You, however, simply enjoy the challenge of a hard class. Some people prefer hanging out and being in a social atmosphere more than solving math equations and finding chemical formulas, and that's okay. Instead of trying to convince your friends to like different teachers, you can start conversations about the challenging and compelling topics you’re all learning about in your classes, and maybe they will come to appreciate it as much as you do.

Quizzically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I always feel left out, whether it be at lunch, in group projects, or sitting on the bus. I feel like my friends are always ignoring me. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Lonely Loser

New York, NY

Dear Lonely Loser,

I know what it’s like to feel invisible or ignored. Before you beat yourself up, please talk to your friends about how you feel. If that is too awkward, try to speak up when you are feeling left out and see if they can include you in the conversation. Sometimes when I feel like this, I realize I need to include myself instead of waiting for them to include me. I am sorry you feel excluded and I hope things turn around.

Inclusively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

What do I do if homework gets too hard?

Sincerely,

A Little Busy

Dear A Little Busy,

Well, there are a lot of things you can do. One is to ask for help! Try talking to your parents about any questions you might be stuck on. After all, your parents were in the same grade as you at some point, so they may know a thing or two about what you are learning. If this doesn’t work, you can always ask your teacher. It’s your teacher’s job to help you, so they should be very understanding and help with whatever you need. If none of this seems like a good option, try doing your homework with one of your friends, and hopefully they can help you get a better understanding. Your school also might have a math help program that you can go to during lunch or recess.

Patiently,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I’m new to my school this year and I can’t make any new friends. I mean, I have friends, but it seems like they all have their own groups, and I never hang out with them because I always feel like they will make fun of me and say no, but I always see them hanging out with other new kids and I feel so left out, but I don't know what to do. I think I might just be overthinking, but I feel like they are always judging me because I hear them talking about other people. What if they talk about me that way? I don’t know what to do. Please help.

Sincerely,

Overthinker

San Jose, CA

Dear Overthinker,

I have started at new schools many times in my life, and I know it can be rough trying to fit into social circles that people have spent years establishing. It can be kind of scary, but I think you should try to hang out with your new acquaintances. If they make fun of you and say no, then they are not worth being friends with. Trust me, everyone feels like people are judging them from time to time, but the truth is that people are always a lot more worried about what other people think of them. The trick is finding your people, even if it’s just one or two. Once you do, try to arrange times to hang out outside of school so you can really get to know them. Things got easier for me, and I bet they will for you.

In friendship,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Last night, my mom found a Victorian cookbook and decided to make one of the pies. I really liked it, and it’s my new favorite food! I asked her what was in it, and she said pig blood. Ew! Now that I think about it, ever since I was born, I’ve always hated the sun. I used to bite my little sister… a lot. Anyway, I think I’m a vampire, and I don’t know what to do. I want to tell my family, but what if they don’t accept me for who I am?! Help!

Sincerely,

Quirky Vampire, San Jose, CA

Dear Quirky Vampire,

This is a fang-tastically horrible problem! You certainly seem to be a vampire. The first thing you need to do is watch your family very closely. Be sure they don’t have any garlic, and check if they are vampires too. Perhaps blood-loving is in your genetics! Make sure when you wake up to feel around your mouth to see if your fangs have grown in. Once they do, be sure to keep your mouth shut. And if you learn the other members of your family are not vampires after all, be sure to keep them safe. Keep your fangs to yourself! 

Thirsty,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.