Before we reveal this week's new letters, it's time for a new teacher problem for you to solve! Here's Mr. Leonard and Ms. Self:
- "I think you should watch TikTok. A lot of middle schoolers use words from TikTok."
- "How about every week you have your students decide on a piece of teenage lingo to teach you, and you have to use it in your lesson that day?"
- "Stop caring about what your students say. They're probably being stupid."
Dear Mask,
When I was eating my lunch, I was really gassy. I accidentally farted in front of my crush! They saw me, and now they fan the air whenever I walk by them. They call me Smelly Toot Toot! Help me, Mask! What do I do?
Sincerely,
Smelly Toot Toot
San Jose, CA
Dear Smelly Toot Toot,
Oh no! This is an absolutely heart-wrenching, cheese-cutting dilemma! Perhaps your crush thinks you are in on the joke and believes you find it funny. But more likely they are making fun of you, so this is what you need to do: Own up to your farting, and talk to your crush about how smelly and wonderful your farts are! But there’s something else to consider, too. If you ever did actually go out with this person, you would soon come to the conclusion that they are the type of person who makes fun of people's farts and other things they can’t control. In the end, it’s probably not the best idea to waste your time crushing on someone who calls poor, innocent people Smelly Toot Toot.
This one's for you,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I’ve noticed that in the locker rooms during PE, there are at least four people who are really sensitive to noise and complain about it to me a lot. Sometimes people tell each other to be quieter, but it never really works. I don’t wanna be the person to start yelling at people to shut up, but I don’t want it to continue because my friends are getting really annoyed by it. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Anonymous
San Jose, CA
Dear Anonymous,
I too hate it when kids yell in the locker room. Why don't you suggest to these friends that they change in the big stall, where it is quieter? You can also ask coaches if your friends can change before everybody else goes in, so they will be done before it gets loud. But if none of these ideas work, you should ask the coaches for help. They should understand and hopefully find a way to make it a bit less loud. (I bet it annoys them a little, as well.)
Quietly,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
My younger brother brags a lot. He also gets me blamed a lot for small stuff, and when he does something mean he never gets blamed! It’s annoying, and it’s so not fair. My parents say that I have to be responsible, but they never tell me how! It’s not like I can read minds. Please help me.
Sincerely,
Confused Big Sister
San Jose, CA
Dear Confused Big Sister,
I understand how you feel, as someone with two younger siblings. It is so hard to be responsible and not get frustrated. Being responsible can mean a lot of things. It might mean you have to ignore your brother when he starts to brag, or it might mean you need to ask your parents to talk with him if he starts to blame you unfairly. The biggest thing you need to remember is that he is younger than you are. You’re his role model, and in my experience, younger siblings, despite how annoying they may be, look up to their older siblings. Maybe you could ask your parents for some other ways you can be responsible. Being an older sibling is hard, but trust me, it can also be great. (By the way, if you do find a way to read minds, make sure to tell me!)
Responsibly,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I have a crush on this hot celebrity dude, but I showed a picture to my friend and she said he was ugly. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Some Kid
San Jose, CA
Dear Some Kid,
It can be really upsetting when people give negative comments about your celebrity soulmate. This is a very serious situation. First you must go to your friend and interrogate her about why she sees your hot celebrity future boyfriend as ugly. But you must also look at the facts: If your celebrity boyfriend looks like a 12-year-old, for example Tom Holland, it might be time to move on. Yet if you can be strong and prevail, your relationship with your hot celebrity dude might soon be reality. At least in your head.
Anyone but Tom Holland!
The Mask