Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 7

Before we reveal this week's new letters, it's time for a new teacher problem for you to solve! Here's Mr. Leonard and Ms. Self:



If you have advice for our drama and music teachers, please fill out this form. If we like your response, we might include it in our next issue! You can also continue sending The Mask letters about your own problems using the original form. Last week, Mr. Linquist asked us for advice on how to stay current with the popular lingo of middle school students. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas! Here are our top three:
  • "I think you should watch TikTok. A lot of middle schoolers use words from TikTok."
  • "How about every week you have your students decide on a piece of teenage lingo to teach you, and you have to use it in your lesson that day?"
  • "Stop caring about what your students say. They're probably being stupid."

Okay, now for our new letters:

Dear Mask,


When I was eating my lunch, I was really gassy. I accidentally farted in front of my crush! They saw me, and now they fan the air whenever I walk by them. They call me Smelly Toot Toot! Help me, Mask! What do I do?


Sincerely,

Smelly Toot Toot

San Jose, CA


Dear Smelly Toot Toot, 


Oh no! This is an absolutely heart-wrenching, cheese-cutting dilemma! Perhaps your crush thinks you are in on the joke and believes you find it funny. But more likely they are making fun of you, so this is what you need to do: Own up to your farting, and talk to your crush about how smelly and wonderful your farts are! But there’s something else to consider, too. If you ever did actually go out with this person, you would soon come to the conclusion that they are the type of person who makes fun of people's farts and other things they can’t control. In the end, it’s probably not the best idea to waste your time crushing on someone who calls poor, innocent people Smelly Toot Toot.


This one's for you,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I’ve noticed that in the locker rooms during PE, there are at least four people who are really sensitive to noise and complain about it to me a lot. Sometimes people tell each other to be quieter, but it never really works. I don’t wanna be the person to start yelling at people to shut up, but I don’t want it to continue because my friends are getting really annoyed by it. What do I do?


Sincerely,

Anonymous

San Jose, CA


Dear Anonymous,


I too hate it when kids yell in the locker room. Why don't you suggest to these friends that they change in the big stall, where it is quieter? You can also ask coaches if your friends can change before everybody else goes in, so they will be done before it gets loud. But if none of these ideas work, you should ask the coaches for help. They should understand and hopefully find a way to make it a bit less loud. (I bet it annoys them a little, as well.)


Quietly,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


My younger brother brags a lot. He also gets me blamed a lot for small stuff, and when he does something mean he never gets blamed! It’s annoying, and it’s so not fair. My parents say that I have to be responsible, but they never tell me how! It’s not like I can read minds. Please help me.


Sincerely,

Confused Big Sister

San Jose, CA


Dear Confused Big Sister,


I understand how you feel, as someone with two younger siblings. It is so hard to be responsible and not get frustrated. Being responsible can mean a lot of things. It might mean you have to ignore your brother when he starts to brag, or it might mean you need to ask your parents to talk with him if he starts to blame you unfairly. The biggest thing you need to remember is that he is younger than you are. You’re his role model, and in my experience, younger siblings, despite how annoying they may be, look up to their older siblings. Maybe you could ask your parents for some other ways you can be responsible. Being an older sibling is hard, but trust me, it can also be great. (By the way, if you do find a way to read minds, make sure to tell me!)


Responsibly,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I have a crush on this hot celebrity dude, but I showed a picture to my friend and she said he was ugly. What do I do?


Sincerely,

Some Kid

San Jose, CA


Dear Some Kid,


It can be really upsetting when people give negative comments about your celebrity soulmate. This is a very serious situation. First you must go to your friend and interrogate her about why she sees your hot celebrity future boyfriend as ugly. But you must also look at the facts: If your celebrity boyfriend looks like a 12-year-old, for example Tom Holland, it might be time to move on. Yet if you can be strong and prevail, your relationship with your hot celebrity dude might soon be reality. At least in your head.


Anyone but Tom Holland!

The Mask


Dear Mask,


As you probably know, a lot of middle school revolves around romance and friendship drama. All people care about is who you like and whether or not they like you back. But I don’t have a crush on anyone, and I feel left out when my friends have these conversations. Sometimes I think about faking a crush so that people would include me in their discussions. Should I?


Sincerely,

Just a Friend

San Jose, CA


Dear Just a Friend,


You should always be honest, especially with your friends. So no, you should not fake a crush. You can tell them that you feel left out, and hopefully they will switch to talking about other things. If they do want to talk about crushes, I recommend being your own Ask The Mask! Give your friends advice about their romance lives so that you are still included in the conversation. Crushes do happen from time to time, but don’t let them get in the way of friendship.


Lovingly,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


My boyfriend, shall we call him Louis. Louis is an amazing boyfriend. He is caring, compassionate, and always gives me the attention I need. He does, however, have lots of anxiety. But as lots of women know, men tend to have large egos. He will not admit he needs help, or that he is even anxious at all. I really want to help him but i don’t know how. He will talk to me about some of these issues, but I think he needs more help. How should I help Louis without hurting him?


Sincerely,

The Girlfriend of an Anxious Boy

Massachusetts


Dear The Girlfriend of an Anxious Boy,


I admire how much you care for your boyfriend. He seems like a wonderful person, and I am so sorry he is dealing with some anxiety. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do if he is unwilling to receive help. Please keep talking to him about it. Hearing about it from another person might help open his eyes to the reality of his situation. Drop the idea of getting more help every once in a while, and be sure to advise him on some strategies to cope. Just as important, remind him how special he is to you, and be sure to be there for him. Clearly you both care for each other very much, and I trust you will do the right thing.


Lovingly,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I’m in eighth grade, and like many other students, I’m applying to private high schools. I’ve talked to my friends about the schools they’re interested in, but some of them just really push the idea that my top choice school is really bad. I feel hurt by it, because most of their reasons don’t apply to me, like sports, which I don’t play, and the distance, which is different because I live in a different area than they do. How do I tell them that I don’t appreciate them talking badly about the school I’m the most interested in?


Sincerely,

Future High Schooler

San Jose, CA


Dear Future High Schooler,


I understand how you feel. A few of my own ideas about high school have also been questioned by others. I think there are multiple ways you could go about this. When they criticize your choice of high school, you can tell them the reasons you feel it’s a good fit for you specifically. Sometimes you just need to tell your friends to stop and say, “It is okay not to want to go the school I like, but please do not talk about the bad stuff about it because I might go there.” If that does not work, then just remember the reasons you want to go there, and stay focused on the future, when these people’s opinions won’t matter as much to you.


See you at graduation!

The Mask



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