Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 9

Welcome to our special Valentine's Day issue of Ask The Mask, where every letter is about having a crush on someone!

But first... last week, Ms. Osorio asked us for advice on how to get to know her sixth-grade niece better. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas! Here are our top three:

• "Maybe just strike up a conversation with her and do that a lot until she starts liking you so much that she starts telling you secrets or whatnot." ~ anonymous
• "In my personal experience, it is best not to talk to her. Save yourself and your sanity!" ~ anonymous
• "I have lunch duty on Thursdays with our sixth graders. You can join us if you have time!" ~ Dr. Ai

We have a few more weeks in the trimester, so please continue sending us letters, and we'll publish as many as we can. Okay, now on to our crushes!

Dear Mask,

Starting in fourth grade, I had a crush on this girl. I still do. But one time, I said a lot of creepy things to her, and now she still doesn't talk to me, ever. Can you fix this?

Sincerely,

Creepy Crusher

Dear Creepy Crusher,

Your crush has the right to be creeped out if you said creepy things to her. I can’t fix that. But I do have some advice for you: Speak to her in person. Have a one-on-one conversation with her and admit you did something wrong; don’t make excuses or try to blame someone else, and be sincere and apologetic. Tell her you are very sorry, assure her that you won’t ever speak to her like that again, and ask her if there is anything you can do for her. There is a chance that she will not forgive you, and that's okay; you might need to accept that. You should also think about why you said those creepy things in the first place. If you tell her that you won’t do things like that again, you have to actually follow through with it. I hope things work out for you, and for her.

Honestly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I got asked to a dance by this boy, and I really like him, but he's never been to a dance before. I think he might ask me a lot of questions, and what if I don't know how to answer them without hurting his feelings? Plus, he likes songs that you can't really dance to, and what if he makes a request for one of those songs and I get embarrassed?

Sincerely,

Excited Girl

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Excited Girl,

Good for you! You are going to a dance with a boy who has never been to a dance before. There is only one solution: You won't have to answer many of his questions if you just tell him everything he needs to know beforehand. Tell him which songs not to request and which songs to request, and tell him about the dancing and the general mood. If he does end up asking a question that you don't know how to answer politely, simply state the answer without any filler words or phrases; be very clear and concise. Also, don’t forget that part of the fun of going to a dance is letting it be a time when you can just be yourself, so if your date wants to request a non-danceable song, maybe you should let him. Don’t feel like you necessarily need to change him. I hope you have a wonderful time at the dance!

Boogying down,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a crush on my friend, but she's a little goofball. I’m pretty sure she's straight, but she always complains about her annoying boyfriend. I don't know how to tell her I like her. Please help.

Sincerely,

Goofy Girl

San Jose, CA

Dear Goofy Girl,

This is always a really frustrating and awkward situation. The first and probably simplest thing you can do is ask her about her sexuality. This can be uncomfortable, yes, but try to just casually bring it up. You have an important decision to make: If you do confess your feelings for her and she doesn't feel the same way, it can make your friendship pretty awkward; on the other hand, how will you know if you don't ask her? Sometimes you can’t do anything if she is already in a relationship, but you can always ask her general questions to get an idea, such as “Have you ever found a girl attractive?” Just be sure not to get in the middle of her relationship. I hope it works out for you!

Optimistically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I cheated on my boyfriend with his own brother! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I felt this overwhelming urge to kiss his brother during the school dance! What should I do? How should I tell him? Should I tell him?

Sincerely,

Cheater

Ohio

Dear Cheater,

This is a very difficult situation. Humans are strange creatures, and sometimes we get the undeniable urge to kiss our boyfriends’ brothers. But the truth is, you have to tell your boyfriend. You should be honest with him and tell him that you kissed his brother. This might seem hard, but it’s better than lying. If you don’t tell him, it will only hurt your relationship in the long run. Sometimes the best thing to do is the classic late-at-night deep-relationship talk to settle things out and explain how the kiss was simply hormonal and you regret it deeply. But also be sure to consider that if you had an undeniable urge to kiss your boyfriend's brother, there is a chance that you no longer have feelings for your boyfriend.

Honestly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My crush likes someone else, but I like them. The person my crush likes is my friend. I don’t want to lose my friend, but I really like my crush. What should I do?

Sincerely,

A Little Crush

San Jose, CA

Dear A Little Crush,

When you have a crush it can be very difficult, especially when they like someone else. My advice to you is to be honest with your friend about your feelings for your crush, and have a talk with them about the situation. See if your friend likes your crush back. If they don’t, ask your friend to make it clear to your crush that they don't have feelings for them. But if your friend does have feelings for your crush, you need to respect that and try to keep your romance life separate from your friendship. Also remember that people’s feelings change all the time. I wish you the best of luck!

Romantically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friend was accused of kissing someone and also having a crush on someone, but they don’t. And worst of all, it’s being rumored around. I don’t know what to do, but we both want it to stop. What do I do?!

Sincerely,

Confused Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Friend,

Stopping a rumor is hard. If you know who started the rumor, you can try to talk to them and let them know that it is false. Try to find out why it was spread; it could be a misunderstanding. The best thing to do in this situation is simply deny it whenever someone questions you about it. I know this is not the most efficient solution, but rumors tend to just blow over if you tell enough people it is false. But you also want to deny this rumor in a way that prevents the person your friend is accused of liking from feeling like there is something wrong with them. So instead of saying, “Ew, no, that person is ugly!”, you could explain that even though your friend doesn’t have feelings for this person and didn’t kiss them, they do like them as a friend.

Delicately,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have this friend and she's really pretty, but we are best friends and I don't know how to ask her on a date. I really don't want to make things awkward between us two if I ask her out. I have no idea what to do and I hope she really loves me back. Please help!

Sincerely,

Chunky Monkey

San Jose, CA

Dear Chunky Monkey,

It can be so weird to ask people out, especially when they are your friend. Before you ask her out, try figuring out if she likes you back. Ask her indirect questions or consult her friends. If none of this heeds results, I recommend waiting for the next school dance and asking her then. This way you can see what she says, and depending on her response, you can say you want to go just as friends… or as something more. It can be really hard to have a crush on a friend, with the overlying fear of ruining your friendship. The best thing to do is either go for it or wait and see if she likes you back. I hope it works out!

In anticipation,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.