Dear Mask,
I have a crush on this boy, but he has a crush on my best friend. I really want him to like me, and all my friends say that he does, but I don't think so. He doesn't know that I like him. We are really good friends and I don't want a crush to break up our friendship.
Sincerely,
Confused
San Jose, CA
Dear Confused,
This is definitely an awkward situation to be in. I suggest that you talk to your best friend about it. If it turns out your friend likes him too, then backing off is the right thing to do. However, if your friend isn’t interested in him, you may have a chance! He could like you back, or he could jump at the chance to spend more time with you to get close to your best friend at first and then realize he likes you even more. If all else fails, I highly recommend you get a tub of ice cream and watch some Netflix.
Deliciously,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I love all things Pokemon. But the Pokemon TCG holds a special place in my heart. I just built a brand new deck that is really powerful. I found out that there is a regional tournament in LA. At this tournament I’d have a chance to go to nationals! The reason I’m sending this is because I’m not sure I’m good enough to go to the tournament. My friends say I will get crushed, and that really discourages me. Also the entrance fee is pretty expensive. Please help.
Sincerely,
Unsure Pokémon Trainer
San Jose, CA
Dear Unsure Pokemon Trainer,
I would feel the same if my friends said that to me. Your friends probably aren’t trying to be mean to you, though. They are probably trying to save your feelings from getting hurt if you do not win. If I were you, I would think about why you want to go to this tournament. Do you want to have fun, or do you just want to win? If you only want to win and you think you would not have a good time unless you do, you should consider not going. If you mostly want to have fun, then I think you should go for it! But make sure to ask about and discuss it with your parents first.
Good luck,
The Mask
My friend is so spoiled and she always rubs it in my face. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Poor Friend
San Jose, CA
Dear Poor Friend,
I am sorry this is happening to you. First, I recommend figuring out if this behavior is intentional or not. If it is, you may want to sit down with your friend and tell her about why her statements annoy you. If it is not intentional, let her know that it bothers you, but say it in a way that spares her feelings. Remember to keep the conversation lighthearted, not accusatory. It is really hard to have a friend who acts like this, and you are very brave to confront her. If all else fails, though, here’s a different idea: Do really well in school, go to a super good college, and become a world-famous billionaire. Then, you can rub how rich and spoiled you are in HER face!
That’s rich,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I used to have a friend – let’s call her Bob – who I was mean to. I wouldn't respond to her, and sometimes I would avoid her, but she was still loyal to me. Then I realized how good a friend Bob was, so I started being nice to her. After I did, she stopped hanging out with me. I don't know if she wants me to be mean to her again or if I made some mistake, but I do know she was happy when I was mean to her. What should I do, and do you like hummus or avocado?
Sincerely,
Not So BF
Dear Not So BF,
Personally, I like avocado more, but according to Falafel Express, hummus is healthier: “Hummus is generally the healthier option. It's lower in calories and fat, higher in protein and fiber, and lower in sodium.” Be careful, because if you accidentally feed your dog avocado, it can lead to heart failure and rapid weight gain. Oh, and you shouldn’t be mean to anybody, for any reason, especially your friend. Seriously.
Smash!
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I am getting so tired of my students using potty talk! If I hear the word “poop” or “butt” again, I am going to flip my lid! I ask them to stop, and they just won't. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Teacher Tired of Toilet Talk
San Jose, CA
Dear Teacher Tired of Toilet Talk,
That stinks! I do have a couple of suggestions. Number One: You should have a class meeting and talk to your students about how saying potty words is not okay. Make sure to use a serious and stern tone of voice, in order to kick this problem in the butt. Number Two: Keep in mind that they are kids, so no matter how many times you try to force them to hold it in, a few potty words might plop out now and then. They won’t all flush away overnight.
P.U. later,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I am an excellent caretaker for all my pets, but I think my turtle has something wrong with it. Shelly, my turtle, is always so sleepy! Every time I come home from school he’s sleeping in his habitat, and every time I check he's still sleeping. My dad keeps giving me weird looks and he even told me to "throw Shelly out," but I highly doubt that fresh air will fix my turtle’s sleepiness, and I would NEVER throw out a pet! What should I do?
Sincerely,
Pet Caretaker
San Jose, CA
Dear Pet Caretaker,
I’m sorry that Shelly is feeling so sleepy. Surely what he needs is a pick-me-up! Try doing some of your favorite things with him together. You could watch one of your favorite movies with him; I’m guessing he would love to watch My Little Pony: the Movie with you. While you watch the movie, eat lots of snacks, like ice cream. If he is too sleepy to eat the snacks, then just smear them all over his shell to increase his appetite. He may seem a little bit bored during the movie, so you should start making a bunch of snarky comments. For example, “Wow! Twilight Sparkle is such a jerk!” Then laugh awkwardly until Shelly starts laughing too. You may have to keep laughing awkwardly forever. I hope this helps lift Shelly’s spirits!
Goodnight,
The Mask
Dear Mask,
I have a crush.
They talk to me and I blush.
I wish they liked me too
But I don't know what to do.
Oh dear Mask, I think I'm in love.
Should I ask her out?
Should I refrain and pout?
I’m confused and I’m confuzzled.
I beg of you to help me out.
Sincerely,
Desperate Poet
The Gallows
Dear Desperate Poet,
This crush advice you seek
Is far from unique.
I’ve answered this a million times
(Just without the rhymes).
But because I need to write an answer,
I think you should romance her.
Try to write a new letter,
Something original and better.
This was such an an easy task,
Sincerely, dearly,
Ask The Mask
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.
