Thursday, February 29, 2024

Ask The Mask, Vol. 3, Issue 10

Welcome to our last regular-season issue of Ask The Mask for 2023-24! We received nearly 150 letters in our digital mailbox this trimester, and we thank each of you who entrusted us with your dilemmas. While we could not respond to and publish every letter, we hope the variety of topics in our ten issues have helped all of our readers feel better equipped to face the challenges of middle school.

Before we get to our final batch of letters, last week Mrs. Arguello asked you how she can get middle schoolers to check out more library books. Here are the top six responses:
  • "Get more YA books by popular authors!"
  • "Have more and better manga!"
  • "If you check out a book with more than 100 pages, you get a treat!"
  • "Have a book reading contest!"
  • "You could give away stuff with each checkout. You know, erasers, pipe cleaners, life insurance. The usual."
  • "Kidnap students and bring them to the library. The only way out: borrowing books!"

So if you miss seeing Ask The Mask notifications in your email inbox in the coming months, you can always check books out of the library! The Mask will return one day. But for now, on to your final letters...


Dear Mask,


I had an issue with my phone and lost it. How do I keep in touch with my friends without it?


Sincerely,

Phoneless Person

San Jose, CA


Dear Phoneless Person,


It must be hard not having a phone, especially if you are used to always having it by your side all the time. I would recommend telling your besties, in person, that you don’t have a phone until further notice. That way they won’t think you are ignoring them. Tell them you can only communicate face to face. And just remember, the dinosaurs didn’t have phones, and they turned out okay!


Riiiiiiinnnnggg!

The Mask


Dear Mask,


Sometimes my friend will act like I'm not there and hang out with someone else, and I don't know if it’s on purpose or what. Please help.


Sincerely,

A Friend

Dear A Friend,


That is a hard situation. The most straightforward way to handle this is to just talk to them. It’s a direct approach that will guarantee an answer. But if you’re looking for something less direct, here’s another idea. First ask this friend to hang out. Then, find one of their other friends and have them ask your friend to hang out on the same day at the same time. If your friend cancels on you, then you might consider dumping them. But I hope your friend chooses you! 


Approachably,

The Mask


Dear Mask,

I feel like I'm unattractive. I can't seem to make guys like me. People in my grade seem to get boys to like them so easily. How do I get a boy to like me? 


Sincerely,

Feels Unattractive


Dear Feels Unattractive, 


It is absolutely normal to feel this way. As a boy, my advice for making them like you is to be friendly and welcoming. Some mistakes girls make all the time are when they are mean to us, when they act out around us, or when they hit us. I’m sure that once you become friendly and welcoming, the boys will come running toward you like stones down a flat vertical wall. You’ll even maybe get nicknames, like The Boy Magnet or The Attractinator. If they don't come, it’ll be their loss. And always remember, boys aren’t everything. In middle school, you should prioritize your friends. And grades.

 

Attractively,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I didn't score many points in the last basketball game, but I want more playing time. What should I do?


Sincerely,

Mr LA Hat

San Jose, CA


Dear Mr LA Hat,


This is a very hard situation to navigate. If you’re mostly worried about your lack of points, then you definitely should ask your coach for tips. But if you’re more worried about getting more playing time, then there are two different ways to approach this. The easiest of the options is to work overtime. Always show up to practice on time, pay attention to what your coach is telling you, and maybe even work on some skills outside of practice. This will make a good impression on your coach and also show your coach how dedicated you are to your sport. The hardest of these two options is to speak to your coach on you own time. You can even bring your parents along for extra support. Talk to them about your playing time, and ask them if they can try to include you more in the action. I wish you the best of luck!


Sharply,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I recently built up enough courage to tell a girl how I feel about her. She politely said that she does not feel the same way. I am really sad because I had hope. How do I handle rejection? 


Sincerely,

Rejected Randy

San Jose, CA


Dear Rejected Randy,


Having this girl reject you must be pretty hard for you, even though she did it politely. It is perfectly okay to be upset about this. No one expects you not to be affected by this at all. At first, it may seem very hard to move on from such a thing. You can try to focus on other relationships, such as the ones you have with your friends. When something like this happens, going to your friends for comfort or distraction can be an excellent way to cope.


Hope this helps,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


My friends are short and I am tall. What should I do?!


Sincerely,

TALL Person

San Jose, CA


Dear TALL Person,


This is so relatable to me! As a person who has grown up really tall, I understand that it can be a challenge to always be around shorter people. I think the best thing that you can do is honestly just accept it. This sounds obvious, but a lot of tall people are insecure, sometimes because they’ve been teased because of their height. But remember that it also works the other way: Many shorter people, like your friends, can also be really insecure about their height, so make sure to not make them feel less than, either.


Stand tall!

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I have a problem. I used to be okay with how I looked and I didn’t really care, but now I find that I compare myself to others every day and I feel really ugly. I don’t feel confident, and with everyone else wearing makeup and stuff, it makes me feel like I should, too. And don’t just say “love yourself,” ‘cause it’s not that easy.


Sincerely,

Self Conscious

San Jose, CA


Dear Self Conscious,


I know what it’s like not to be confident in your looks, and I’m sure that almost everyone has thought this way at some point in their lives as well. The thing is, beauty standards change. It’s impossible for everyone to think you’re pretty, and no matter who you are, someone is going to think you look good. Beauty standards are different all around the world, and in modern times, they were created to sell you products – like makeup. I do NOT suggest using makeup to make yourself look “better” because then you may start to rely on the makeup for your self-worth. Instead, try to take your focus off of your imperfections, and focus on caring for yourself. Create a shower routine, paint your nails, try new hairstyles, or focus on fashion. Developing style is better than beating yourself up about features you can’t change. Self care will help you love and appreciate yourself the way you are (even though, as you write, it’s not easy). With all of this said, remember that beauty is a social construct, and being “pretty” won’t actually help you do anything important.


Lovenly,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


Okay, so I have a friend I've known for a long time, and I'm really good friends with her. The problem is, I think she has a crush on me, and I don't think I like her back. I'm scared she might ask me to the upcoming social, and I don't want to break her heart, but I just don't like her that way. What should I do?


Sincerely,

Unwilling Crush

San Jose, CA


Dear Unwilling Crush,


This kind of social situation can be difficult to navigate. However, she hasn’t asked you out yet. There is a possibility that she may not actually have a crush on you, and that you’re just making assumptions. But if she does ask you out, I don’t think that you should say yes just to be nice. The best way to go is to be honest, because you don't want to be stuck going to the social with someone you don't want to. Try to tell her in a way that lets her know how you feel but that doesn’t hurt her feelings too much. Make sure to let her know that you still want to be her friend no matter what. If she feels like she needs some space, that’s okay. It is completely fine to reject her, because you are not obligated to go to the social with anyone. Know that your relationship may take some time before it goes back to normal. Good luck!


Gently,

The Mask


Dear Mask,


I don't know how to socialize. Every time I am around people, I just stare at them. It freaks people out. At school, people think I'm weird. How do you socialize, Mask?


Sincerely,

Confused Socializer

San Jose, CA


Dear Confused Socializer,


Most of the time I don’t even see people, much less talk to them. If I were you, instead of mindlessly staring at people, I would watch them. Closely. I would learn all of their secrets, crushes, and inner thoughts. Then, with that information, I would know exactly who they are and what they are like. So I would have no need to socialize. If you find some other reason to socialize besides learning people’s secrets, then I would suggest a different approach. In my experience, I have found that you can handle any conversation with a simple formula. First, if you are the one starting the conversation, ask them a very neutral question, such as, “How do you spell your imaginary friend’s name?” or “What is your mother’s maiden name?” or “What is your social security number?” After they respond to one of these questions, repeat the last word they said in the form of a new question. Your conversation may sound something like this:


You: Hello. How was your day?

Them: Good. I talked to some of my friends.

You: You have friends?!


See? Now you can have deep, complex, and interesting conversations with anyone!


Socially adept,

The Mask


Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.