Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 11

Our short Issue 11 is a reunion of sorts: four people whose letters we published in earlier issues who have written us again to follow up. Click on the links to re-read their original dilemmas.

But first: last week, Coach Mac asked us for advice on how to keep students engaged as we get into spring. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas! Here are our top three:

• "Motivate us with money." ~ anonymous
• "Punish kids with pushups if they mess around. Works for most sports coaches!" ~ anonymous
• "Get a bunch of treadmills and make the kids run on them. For the kids who are not running on them, let them do their homework." ~ anonymous

Okay, now onto our reunion letters:

Dear Mask,

You responded to my problem, and I tried your advice. The problem is, the people my friend hangs out with completely ignore me! They don’t respond when I try to join their conversations, and sometimes, when I’m in the middle of a conversation, they’ll butt in, and my friend will go and talk to them, leaving me abandoned and alone. I can’t make friends with them because they seem like they don’t like me. But it’s not like my friend doesn’t have any other time to talk to them; they’re in all the same classes! And I’m in none of them. I know you’ve already tried, but can you please try to fix my problem?

Sincerely,

Lonely Friend

(from Vol. 2, Issue 1, Letter #3)

Dear Lonely Friend,

I think you should confront your friend one on one. You want to be sure they know you are feeling so excluded. This can be hard and kind of awkward, but sometimes it's the best way to move forward. If you tell them how you feel, it might open their eyes and they can make more of an effort to make you feel less alone. It sounds like you have other friends who talk to them, so maybe one of your other friends can help incorporate you into the conversation. If all is lost, the thing I always do to reconnect with someone is to chat with them online. Start texting them, and then you can continue your text conversations in person. Don't give up!

Inclusively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Hi. I’m stuck in the two-crushes situation, but I just learned one of my crushes is moving away. Should this affect who I date? 

Sincerely,

Simp

(from Vol. 2, Issue 4, Letter #2)

Dear Simp,

I am so glad you wrote to us for a second time regarding your situation. The answer to this problem is really hard to simply take sides on, but my recommendation is not to let one of your crushes moving affect who you want to be in a relationship with. Then again, relationships often depend on having close contact, and long distance may not work. My advice to you is to consider if you would be okay with a long distance relationship. Once you do that, you can focus on who you feel you gravitate toward more. Another important thing, though: Be sure both of your crushes are interested in dating you! (Maybe their interest, or lack of interest, will make the decision for you.)

Best of luck,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I snitched on my friend for doing something she wasn't supposed to. I immediately felt bad, but I also thought that she might've gotten into more trouble if she was caught later. But then she asked me if I was the one who did it, and I felt guilty but also really sad because she asked me. It kind of feels like she asked me because she doesn't trust me, and after that she definitely won't trust me. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Buzz Kill

(from Vol. 2, Issue 5, Letter #2)

Dear Buzz Kill,

Well, first you should be honest with your friend since she asked you if you snitched or not, and make sure you tell her the truth. Second, you should explain to her that you do not approve of her doing things that she isn’t supposed to do and that you think she should stop because you care about her and you don’t want her to get into trouble. If in the future she wants to continue to do these things, make sure she knows that you do not want to be involved in her poor decision-making at all. You do want to keep your friendship, though, so make sure you word this to her kindly and try not to get upset if she doesn’t listen. And if a little bit of her trust in you dissipated because you told on her, it's okay. You don’t want to be getting into trouble because of her. I can tell that your friendship is very important to you, and I admire that. I hope everything works out for you!

Truthfully,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Thank you for your response about my devastation situation. About the peanuts, in my opinion peanuts are awful, so just don't eat them. But if you decide you want to eat them anyway, don't you dare compare them to the glorious heaven that is peas!

Sincerely,

Annoyed Jalapeño Popper

(from Vol. 2, Issue 5, Letter #8)

Dear Annoyed Jalapeño Popper,

Touché.

Love,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 10

Before we reveal this week's new letters, it's time for a new teacher problem for you to solve! Here's Coach Mac:

If you have advice for Coach Mac, please fill out this form. If we like your response, we might include it in our next issue! You can also continue sending The Mask letters about your own problems using the original form.

Okay, now for our new letters:

Dear Mask,

I like cheese too much, and it makes me gassy and is not healthy. My mom says it’s psychological, but I think my brain is wired differently.

Sincerely,

I Like Cheese Too Much

Ohio

Dear I Like Cheese Too Much,

Despite the fact that you’re anonymous, I feel like I know you on a deeply emotional level. Being lactose intolerant is extremely common and quite annoying. Trust me, your brain is not wired differently; you are just part of the large portion of the population that can’t comfortably ingest lactose. Cheese is a magical, godly substance, and this is a horrible predicament to be in. The first thing I would do is research. For some people, eating cheese just makes them gassy, but for others it can really affect their health. If you just get gassy, plan your cheese feasting strategically. Eat cheese when you know you are going to spend the rest of the day in your room or alone around your house. I wish you the best of luck with your cheese dilemma.

Flatulently,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a friend who shared a secret with me that he does not want me to share with anyone else. I'm close friends with his other really close friend, and this friend recently found out there is a secret and wants to know what it is. He won't stop asking about it. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Confused Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Friend,

The best thing to do in this situation is to keep the secret secret. Tell your prying friend to stop asking because you aren’t going to tell them. If a secret is shared, it can really hurt the feelings of whomever told you the secret, damaging your friendship and break the trust they have with you. It may be difficult to keep the secret, but the importance of keeping it is immense. Once you’ve made your decision clear, the best thing to do whenever your friend mentions it is change the topic. Try not to have your friend feeling like you don't trust them; just inform them that it is not your secret to share. After all, friendships are very fragile and should be cherished.

Ssshhh,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My mom doesn’t let me wear makeup, but my friends can. Should I ask if I can wear a little at home? Or just mascara outside of home? Help!

Sincerely,

Mature Kid

San Jose, CA

Dear Mature Kid,

This seems like a difficult situation. The first thing you should do is ask yourself why you want to wear makeup. Are you doing it for yourself, because it makes you feel more confident? Are you doing it for your friends, because they think you should, or you want to fit in with them? If you’re doing it for your friends, you might want to consider why it matters what they think of you or why you want to fit in with them. You should do things because they make YOU happy, not for other people. If you want to wear makeup because you like it, then you should ask your mom about it. You can tell her that it would make you happy and more confident.

All made up,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Two of my friends and I have been friends since first grade. But in the past few months, we haven't really been talking to each other. I want to be a good friend and have fun with them, but they both merged into two other friend groups. Plus, we aren't in the same class or the same enrichment group. Please help. 

Sincerely,

Confused Person

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Confused Person,

I understand how it feels to have friends drift away. Why don’t you try talking to them, hang by their lunch table, or send them a random message to start a conversation? Communication is a really important thing if you want to start a friendship back up. Planning time to hang out outside of school is also a good option. Invite your friends to hang out at your house or a park, and plan an activity to give you something to do and talk about. Even so, it’s important to remember that throughout life, some friendships drift away and new ones form, and in the end this is okay.

Positively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friend is too smart! They take everything I say and make sure it is factually correct. I want to perform a brain transplant so they stop correcting me! 

Sincerely,

Factual Friend

Dear Factual Friend,

Hold up…What?! Before you perform a brain transplant on your friend, consider that you can invite them to help you with your homework. Of course, if their constant correcting gets on your nerves, you could have a talk with them to let them know that you fully support their knowledge but would like it if they stopped correct you. Say it in a way that avoids hurting their feelings, though; otherwise, you’ll be as bad as they are.

Correctly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

There's this kid. He's super racist, like mimicking accents and eye shapes; he makes Hitler jokes to Jewish people; and he reinforces harmful stereotypes. He’s also extremely homophobic and calls other people racist, and he faces no consequences for any of this.

Sincerely,

Concerned Students

San Jose, CA

Dear Concerned Students,

The things this person is saying and doing are not appropriate or okay in any way. My first instinct is to tell you to inform a trusted adult who might be able to talk to him. This is not the best option for every circumstance, so another recommendation would be to stand up to him, to show him that nobody else finds what he is saying funny or appropriate. Since your letter appears to have been written by multiple students, you could each write a seperate email to him, to help him realize that more than just one of his fellow students is getting frustrated and mad. Hopefully this will help him understand that he needs to start thinking before he speaks.

Safely,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I am trying to convince my dad that my family should go to Disneyland. Can you help me with that?

Sincerely,

Missing Blob

San Jose, CA

Dear Missing Blob,

Yes, we all want to go to Disneyland, a wonderful place filled with long lines and surgery snacks. To convince your dad to bring your family, you first need to find out why he doesn't want to go and see if you can problem-solve from there. If he is still being stubborn, you can try to recruit your siblings (if you have them), and you can all band together to come up with a creative argument. If you don't have siblings, why not try bribery? Tell your dad you will do extra chores or always clean your room if you go to Disneyland. That’s what Mickey Mouse would do, right? I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

See you in Anaheim,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.