Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 10

Before we reveal this week's new letters, it's time for a new teacher problem for you to solve! Here's Coach Mac:

If you have advice for Coach Mac, please fill out this form. If we like your response, we might include it in our next issue! You can also continue sending The Mask letters about your own problems using the original form.

Okay, now for our new letters:

Dear Mask,

I like cheese too much, and it makes me gassy and is not healthy. My mom says it’s psychological, but I think my brain is wired differently.

Sincerely,

I Like Cheese Too Much

Ohio

Dear I Like Cheese Too Much,

Despite the fact that you’re anonymous, I feel like I know you on a deeply emotional level. Being lactose intolerant is extremely common and quite annoying. Trust me, your brain is not wired differently; you are just part of the large portion of the population that can’t comfortably ingest lactose. Cheese is a magical, godly substance, and this is a horrible predicament to be in. The first thing I would do is research. For some people, eating cheese just makes them gassy, but for others it can really affect their health. If you just get gassy, plan your cheese feasting strategically. Eat cheese when you know you are going to spend the rest of the day in your room or alone around your house. I wish you the best of luck with your cheese dilemma.

Flatulently,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a friend who shared a secret with me that he does not want me to share with anyone else. I'm close friends with his other really close friend, and this friend recently found out there is a secret and wants to know what it is. He won't stop asking about it. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Confused Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Friend,

The best thing to do in this situation is to keep the secret secret. Tell your prying friend to stop asking because you aren’t going to tell them. If a secret is shared, it can really hurt the feelings of whomever told you the secret, damaging your friendship and break the trust they have with you. It may be difficult to keep the secret, but the importance of keeping it is immense. Once you’ve made your decision clear, the best thing to do whenever your friend mentions it is change the topic. Try not to have your friend feeling like you don't trust them; just inform them that it is not your secret to share. After all, friendships are very fragile and should be cherished.

Ssshhh,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My mom doesn’t let me wear makeup, but my friends can. Should I ask if I can wear a little at home? Or just mascara outside of home? Help!

Sincerely,

Mature Kid

San Jose, CA

Dear Mature Kid,

This seems like a difficult situation. The first thing you should do is ask yourself why you want to wear makeup. Are you doing it for yourself, because it makes you feel more confident? Are you doing it for your friends, because they think you should, or you want to fit in with them? If you’re doing it for your friends, you might want to consider why it matters what they think of you or why you want to fit in with them. You should do things because they make YOU happy, not for other people. If you want to wear makeup because you like it, then you should ask your mom about it. You can tell her that it would make you happy and more confident.

All made up,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Two of my friends and I have been friends since first grade. But in the past few months, we haven't really been talking to each other. I want to be a good friend and have fun with them, but they both merged into two other friend groups. Plus, we aren't in the same class or the same enrichment group. Please help. 

Sincerely,

Confused Person

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Confused Person,

I understand how it feels to have friends drift away. Why don’t you try talking to them, hang by their lunch table, or send them a random message to start a conversation? Communication is a really important thing if you want to start a friendship back up. Planning time to hang out outside of school is also a good option. Invite your friends to hang out at your house or a park, and plan an activity to give you something to do and talk about. Even so, it’s important to remember that throughout life, some friendships drift away and new ones form, and in the end this is okay.

Positively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friend is too smart! They take everything I say and make sure it is factually correct. I want to perform a brain transplant so they stop correcting me! 

Sincerely,

Factual Friend

Dear Factual Friend,

Hold up…What?! Before you perform a brain transplant on your friend, consider that you can invite them to help you with your homework. Of course, if their constant correcting gets on your nerves, you could have a talk with them to let them know that you fully support their knowledge but would like it if they stopped correct you. Say it in a way that avoids hurting their feelings, though; otherwise, you’ll be as bad as they are.

Correctly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

There's this kid. He's super racist, like mimicking accents and eye shapes; he makes Hitler jokes to Jewish people; and he reinforces harmful stereotypes. He’s also extremely homophobic and calls other people racist, and he faces no consequences for any of this.

Sincerely,

Concerned Students

San Jose, CA

Dear Concerned Students,

The things this person is saying and doing are not appropriate or okay in any way. My first instinct is to tell you to inform a trusted adult who might be able to talk to him. This is not the best option for every circumstance, so another recommendation would be to stand up to him, to show him that nobody else finds what he is saying funny or appropriate. Since your letter appears to have been written by multiple students, you could each write a seperate email to him, to help him realize that more than just one of his fellow students is getting frustrated and mad. Hopefully this will help him understand that he needs to start thinking before he speaks.

Safely,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I am trying to convince my dad that my family should go to Disneyland. Can you help me with that?

Sincerely,

Missing Blob

San Jose, CA

Dear Missing Blob,

Yes, we all want to go to Disneyland, a wonderful place filled with long lines and surgery snacks. To convince your dad to bring your family, you first need to find out why he doesn't want to go and see if you can problem-solve from there. If he is still being stubborn, you can try to recruit your siblings (if you have them), and you can all band together to come up with a creative argument. If you don't have siblings, why not try bribery? Tell your dad you will do extra chores or always clean your room if you go to Disneyland. That’s what Mickey Mouse would do, right? I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

See you in Anaheim,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Vol. 2, Issue 9

Welcome to our special Valentine's Day issue of Ask The Mask, where every letter is about having a crush on someone!

But first... last week, Ms. Osorio asked us for advice on how to get to know her sixth-grade niece better. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas! Here are our top three:

• "Maybe just strike up a conversation with her and do that a lot until she starts liking you so much that she starts telling you secrets or whatnot." ~ anonymous
• "In my personal experience, it is best not to talk to her. Save yourself and your sanity!" ~ anonymous
• "I have lunch duty on Thursdays with our sixth graders. You can join us if you have time!" ~ Dr. Ai

We have a few more weeks in the trimester, so please continue sending us letters, and we'll publish as many as we can. Okay, now on to our crushes!

Dear Mask,

Starting in fourth grade, I had a crush on this girl. I still do. But one time, I said a lot of creepy things to her, and now she still doesn't talk to me, ever. Can you fix this?

Sincerely,

Creepy Crusher

Dear Creepy Crusher,

Your crush has the right to be creeped out if you said creepy things to her. I can’t fix that. But I do have some advice for you: Speak to her in person. Have a one-on-one conversation with her and admit you did something wrong; don’t make excuses or try to blame someone else, and be sincere and apologetic. Tell her you are very sorry, assure her that you won’t ever speak to her like that again, and ask her if there is anything you can do for her. There is a chance that she will not forgive you, and that's okay; you might need to accept that. You should also think about why you said those creepy things in the first place. If you tell her that you won’t do things like that again, you have to actually follow through with it. I hope things work out for you, and for her.

Honestly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I got asked to a dance by this boy, and I really like him, but he's never been to a dance before. I think he might ask me a lot of questions, and what if I don't know how to answer them without hurting his feelings? Plus, he likes songs that you can't really dance to, and what if he makes a request for one of those songs and I get embarrassed?

Sincerely,

Excited Girl

Willow Glen, CA

Dear Excited Girl,

Good for you! You are going to a dance with a boy who has never been to a dance before. There is only one solution: You won't have to answer many of his questions if you just tell him everything he needs to know beforehand. Tell him which songs not to request and which songs to request, and tell him about the dancing and the general mood. If he does end up asking a question that you don't know how to answer politely, simply state the answer without any filler words or phrases; be very clear and concise. Also, don’t forget that part of the fun of going to a dance is letting it be a time when you can just be yourself, so if your date wants to request a non-danceable song, maybe you should let him. Don’t feel like you necessarily need to change him. I hope you have a wonderful time at the dance!

Boogying down,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a crush on my friend, but she's a little goofball. I’m pretty sure she's straight, but she always complains about her annoying boyfriend. I don't know how to tell her I like her. Please help.

Sincerely,

Goofy Girl

San Jose, CA

Dear Goofy Girl,

This is always a really frustrating and awkward situation. The first and probably simplest thing you can do is ask her about her sexuality. This can be uncomfortable, yes, but try to just casually bring it up. You have an important decision to make: If you do confess your feelings for her and she doesn't feel the same way, it can make your friendship pretty awkward; on the other hand, how will you know if you don't ask her? Sometimes you can’t do anything if she is already in a relationship, but you can always ask her general questions to get an idea, such as “Have you ever found a girl attractive?” Just be sure not to get in the middle of her relationship. I hope it works out for you!

Optimistically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I cheated on my boyfriend with his own brother! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I felt this overwhelming urge to kiss his brother during the school dance! What should I do? How should I tell him? Should I tell him?

Sincerely,

Cheater

Ohio

Dear Cheater,

This is a very difficult situation. Humans are strange creatures, and sometimes we get the undeniable urge to kiss our boyfriends’ brothers. But the truth is, you have to tell your boyfriend. You should be honest with him and tell him that you kissed his brother. This might seem hard, but it’s better than lying. If you don’t tell him, it will only hurt your relationship in the long run. Sometimes the best thing to do is the classic late-at-night deep-relationship talk to settle things out and explain how the kiss was simply hormonal and you regret it deeply. But also be sure to consider that if you had an undeniable urge to kiss your boyfriend's brother, there is a chance that you no longer have feelings for your boyfriend.

Honestly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My crush likes someone else, but I like them. The person my crush likes is my friend. I don’t want to lose my friend, but I really like my crush. What should I do?

Sincerely,

A Little Crush

San Jose, CA

Dear A Little Crush,

When you have a crush it can be very difficult, especially when they like someone else. My advice to you is to be honest with your friend about your feelings for your crush, and have a talk with them about the situation. See if your friend likes your crush back. If they don’t, ask your friend to make it clear to your crush that they don't have feelings for them. But if your friend does have feelings for your crush, you need to respect that and try to keep your romance life separate from your friendship. Also remember that people’s feelings change all the time. I wish you the best of luck!

Romantically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

My friend was accused of kissing someone and also having a crush on someone, but they don’t. And worst of all, it’s being rumored around. I don’t know what to do, but we both want it to stop. What do I do?!

Sincerely,

Confused Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Friend,

Stopping a rumor is hard. If you know who started the rumor, you can try to talk to them and let them know that it is false. Try to find out why it was spread; it could be a misunderstanding. The best thing to do in this situation is simply deny it whenever someone questions you about it. I know this is not the most efficient solution, but rumors tend to just blow over if you tell enough people it is false. But you also want to deny this rumor in a way that prevents the person your friend is accused of liking from feeling like there is something wrong with them. So instead of saying, “Ew, no, that person is ugly!”, you could explain that even though your friend doesn’t have feelings for this person and didn’t kiss them, they do like them as a friend.

Delicately,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have this friend and she's really pretty, but we are best friends and I don't know how to ask her on a date. I really don't want to make things awkward between us two if I ask her out. I have no idea what to do and I hope she really loves me back. Please help!

Sincerely,

Chunky Monkey

San Jose, CA

Dear Chunky Monkey,

It can be so weird to ask people out, especially when they are your friend. Before you ask her out, try figuring out if she likes you back. Ask her indirect questions or consult her friends. If none of this heeds results, I recommend waiting for the next school dance and asking her then. This way you can see what she says, and depending on her response, you can say you want to go just as friends… or as something more. It can be really hard to have a crush on a friend, with the overlying fear of ruining your friendship. The best thing to do is either go for it or wait and see if she likes you back. I hope it works out!

In anticipation,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.