Ask The Mask, Vol. 3, Issue 5

First, thank you to the many readers who submitted responses to Dr. Jorgenson's video for The Mask! Here are five reader suggestions for how administrators can strengthen their relationships with students:

5. Ask students for ideas about what can be improved at school

4. Declare a Student Appreciation Day!

3. Schedule a student-administrator breakfast once a month

2. Learn what is new and cool, so you can do a trending dance out at recess!

1. Switch roles with the students for a day (just give us some time to formulate a lesson plan...)

Remember to keep sending us your problems using this Google Form! Okay, on to a new batch of letters...

Dear Mask,

I am very good at math. I am in an advanced class and have a 101%. But I’m afraid I’m a bit too good. Could you help me get a bit less smart?

Sincerely,

Mathematician

37.3387° N, 121.8853° W

Dear Mathematician,

My own current grade in math is a 102%, so I get where you are coming from. I would suggest using the internet. No, not Britannica or Dictionary.com. I mean scrolling endlessly through YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, or any other form of social media. As we all know, each time you use social media, your brain slowly rots, brain cell by brain cell. So after about a week, your grade should have dropped from a 101% to a 10.1%. You may find yourself believing that the earth is flat, but at least you will be less smart, like you wanted. P.S. I know where you live.

Mathematically,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have trouble making characters seem relatable. I typically have great ideas and I start to write them down, but people wouldn't like them because the character was unrelatable. That makes me sad, because I think they want me to restart, and it's typically on a page when the story's starting to build up. I wish that they saw that I enjoy doing this, and that just because I make a few mistakes doesn't mean it's horrible. But I think they say my characters are unreliable because they don't like my story and don't want me to be sad. But they don't realize that the way they say it is mean. I need your help!

Sincerely,

Troubled Man

San Jose, CA

Dear Troubled Man, 

I think it’s amazing that you write so much and enjoy writing. I’m glad that you think you have good ideas and that you trust yourself. I also think it’s highly doubtful that your teachers or others are lying to you. Based on your letter, I’d encourage you to ask your teacher straight up what they think of your stories and how they can help you make them even better. It’s important that writers can take constructive criticism, without getting defensive. During the conversation, if you’re brave enough, you can also mention that you thought their earlier tone was mean, even though you know they didn’t mean to be mean. That way, they can learn too.

Relatably,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I had a best friend who started becoming friends with another person. Now we are all friends, but I learned that my best friend is having secret hangouts with just her, and not inviting me. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Sad Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Sad Friend,

I am sorry that your friend is not being loyal to you. I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her about why she is hanging out with your other friend without you. Maybe she has a good reason. But if she doesn’t, she will likely realize she did something hurtful and apologize. If it plays out differently, and they continue being unkind to you, it might be time to find new friends. If this does end up happening, make sure to still at least be friendly toward them, because otherwise you might cause unnecessary drama. Whatever you end up doing, don’t compromise you happiness for your friends.

Secretly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a crush on two boys in my grade. One of them is my boyfriend, and I feel guilty for having another crush. I have tried to stop myself from liking the other boy, but I can't.

Sincerely,

Stuck in the Middle

San Jose, CA

Dear Stuck in the Middle,

I’m sorry this is happening to you. Try hanging out with each of them individually to see who you have more fun with. Maybe that will help you decide. If you like the other boy more, then tell him (unless he already is with someone) and see how he reacts. But if you like your boyfriend more, then stay with him. Trust your gut, and I know you’ll make the right decision. Continuing a relationship while you have feelings for someone else can be difficult, but realize that being attracted to someone doesn’t always mean you should date them. If you do decide to confront your boyfriend about liking someone else, though, make sure to tell it to him gently. Explain how you don’t think your relationship can progress when he isn’t the one you feel most attracted to.

Lovingly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a crush on this boy, but I think he hates me. He is rude to me, but my friends say that's his way of flirting. I need help!

Sincerely, 

I Need Help

Dear I Need Help,

It’s hard to have a crush on someone. Often times people like other people because they know they can’t date them. When someone has a crush, they pay much closer attention to what that person does. This overanalyzing leads to misinterpretation, or noticing every slightly kind thing someone does that would otherwise go unnoticed. All of this is to say that you may be paying attention to all of the times when he could possibly be flirting with you, and overlooking some major red flags. A relationship with someone who’s mean to you all the time is probably doomed from the start. It’s also important for you to identify exactly why you like this person if you’re so passive with their rude behavior. If it’s still hard to tell, try spending a day pretending you don’t have a crush on him, and see how it goes. You might feel better not having to worry or think about if he actually likes you or not. Good luck!

Observantly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

Every time I try to sleep, my neighbor blasts flipping Josh Hutcherson’s “Whistle” through the window. I hate it!!! I hate that stupid whistle and I'm going to explode if I have it to hear one more time. What should I do?? I need sleep.

Sincerely,

Josh Hutcherson Hater

California

Dear Josh Hutcherson Hater,

I feel your pain. That song makes my ears gag and it ruins my day every time I hear it. If it really is affecting your sleep cycle, then you should bring it up with your neighbor, or leave them a passive-aggressive letter. Ask them to lower the volume, or (even better) to develop better taste in music! As a last resort, you could invest in huge speakers and blast “Baby Shark” louder than their music to drown out this abomination of a song.

Just put your lips together,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I don't know what to do with my pasta. HELP!

Sincerely,

Pixie Fisheye Fairy

San Jose, CA

Dear Pixie Fisheye Fairy,

Anyone who eats carbs faces this dilemma at one time or another. Fortunately for you, there are a multitude of solutions! Have you ever tried building a pasta city on your plate? Or learning how to knit with your noodles? You can also create some fancy wall decor that your whole family will love. Feeling romantic? Dress up in your fanciest clothes (including your favorite bow tie of course), drive to a nice restaurant, and while your pasta isn’t looking, pull out a ring. If for some reason you don’t like pasta, then feed it to everyone you know. Especially your pet bird named Harold. 

Saucy,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Vol. 3, Issue 4

Before we get to this week's letters, we're bringing back a popular feature of Ask The Mask. Each week, we will post a short video in which an ACDS staff member tells us about one of their own problems. You — yes, you! — are invited to fill out this form with advice for the adult. If we like your response, we might include it in our next issue. First up is our head of school, Dr. Jorgenson!

Click here to submit advice to Dr. Jorgenson!

Click here to send a letter to Ask The Mask!

Okay, on to this week's batch of letters...

Dear Mask,

My friends are so good at Valorant. I pretend to be good, but I’m running out of excuses to leave when they join. Please help me make more excuses.

Sincerely,

Epik Gamer

San Jose, CA

Dear Epik Gamer,

In your case, I think that blaming it on the computer is a safe option. For example, you could say that your wifi is broken. Or you could tell them that you are experiencing technical difficulties. However, you may have already used these excuses. So you could also tell them that you have some sort of other commitment, such as homework or house chores. In the event that your friends figure out that you are making up excuses, you may have to resort to telling them the truth. Hopefully your friends will understand and maybe teach you some tricks to get better. Good luck!

Excuses, excuses,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I used to get straight A’s in every class. Now I have B’s and B-’s, and I’m stressed out. Is there a way I can chill out and get higher grades?

Sincerely,

Stressed Out Friend

San Jose, CA

Dear Stressed Out Friend,

I too get stressed out when my grades are lower than an A. Have you thought about why your grades have dropped? Maybe you have been focused on something other than your grades, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is okay to focus on family or personal wellness for a little while instead of your grades. Even though you might get a B, it’s going to be okay, and you shouldn’t worry too much about it. If you get a B, it’s not like you fail the class for the rest of the year. To get higher grades, try taking more notes in class. Make sure that the teacher knows what you need to help you learn. Ask questions when you are confused. Don’t be embarrassed for not knowing stuff.

Evaluatively,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I am in middle school and I have a BIG crush on this girl. She's everything. But she’s in fifth grade.

Sincerely,

Old Person

San Jose, CA

Dear Old Person,

This is definitely a tough situation to be in. There is always the possibility that you might frighten her, considering she is in fifth grade. If you are scared to talk to her and you have at least one more year of middle school, then I suggest that you wait until she comes to middle school so the age difference seems less “unusual.” But if you’re worried about what others might think, then the only thing I can suggest is to ignore them, even if the people making fun of you are your friends. I speak from experience: Don't let other people’s opinions define who you like. I wish you the best of luck!

Caringly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a crush on two people, and what's worse is that they are best friends. I try to pick one, just the way my friends advise me, but it is really hard. One is extremely smart, artistic, and a good friend. The other is funny and is a good friend also. I want one of them to ask me out to the social, but I am really stuck.

Sincerely,

Split Crusher

San Jose, CA

Dear Split Crusher,

Love triangles are complicated. Everyone has their pros and cons, and it’s important that their cons play a role in this decision. List out all of the things you like about them, and then list out all of the things you don't like. This way you can have a visual representation of what each person has to offer, and see which person you prefer. Because they’re friends, its difficult to tell how the other might react. Unfortunately, if a relationship with either of them requires them to no longer be bestie with each other, then it’s not going to work out. You also don’t have the option of asking them both out at first, because it’ll definitely come out in a conversation between them. Another option is to just wait for one of them to ask you out. But if you feel like it’s taking them a bit too long, you might want to pull out your list and see who you’re going to ask out. You got this!

Triangularly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

A few of the people I sometimes hang out with say racial slurs because it’s not racist when they say it but if i said it it would be super racist. It’s not like I ever would want to say anything racist. I just don't know if I should do anything about this. Is it messed up for them to say these things even if it isn't racist when they say it? I felt like if it is racist, then why say it at all, even if it’s not racist when they say it? I'm sorta confuzzled.

Sincerely,

Confuzzled Questioner

San Jose, CA

Dear Confuzzled Questioner,

This kind of situation is confusing for a lot of people. For some members of minority groups, “reclaiming” certain words that started out as insults can make them feel empowered and strong. But it’s also okay for you to feel uncomfortable with words like that. Since a good friend would value your opinion and your respect, I suggest letting them know that the words bother you when you hear them and asking them to stop saying those words around you. If they don’t want to stop, you can start a conversation with them to learn more about why they keep using these words. If they keep using the words in front of you even though they know it bothers you, you might try to separate yourself from them. They might not be your close friends if they can’t respect you. But I hope you’re able to understand each other better instead.

Word,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I keep on farting in class a lot, and it's no joke! What can I do to help solve this problem?

Sincerely,

FartsieGurl

San Jose, CA

Dear FartsieGurl,

Few wish to admit it, but it's hard not to fart. Try looking at your diet. If you eat a lot of dairy, beans, or spicy food, consider dialing back on those foods. If you aren’t eating things that are making you fart, it could instead be your stress levels. If you feel a fart coming in class, ask to go to the bathroom. While you are walking to the bathroom, try to take some deep breaths. I hope this helps you stop stinking up the class. But if none of this seems to reduce your fart count, another idea is to start randomly screaming in the middle of class to cover up your impending flatulence.

Stinkily,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice. 

Ask The Mask, Vol. 3, Issue 3

Happy new year, one and all! Believe it or not, even though it's 2024, people still have problems. Here are some of them! To get The Mask to give you advice, fill out this anonymous form.

Dear Mask,

I don't know anybody, and I'm not friends with anybody in my electives, and it makes me feel grumpy and frustrated. Help?

Sincerely,

Garlic Bread Monster

San Jose, CA

Dear Garlic Bread Monster,

Not knowing anybody is very hard. I came to ACDS not knowing anyone, and it took a little while to get comfortable. Electives are supposed to be fun. I would suggest starting conversations with people, and not only in your grade because electives are a chance to connect with people in other grades. Maybe you can use ice breakers with your peers, like the allergy game, or talk about experiences you’ve had based on the elective. For example, if your elective is about cooking, start a conversation about a cooking experience you’ve had. Then you can build friendships with your peers and be in a better mood.

Garlic is yummy,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I have a really big crush on this boy. He really hates me, but I really like him. He is leaving this year and I want to tell him I like him, but I also don't know if I should.

Sincerely,

Confused Crusher

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Crusher,

This is a tough situation to be in. If you really think that he hates you, try to find a way to demonstrate your good qualities. You could take a risk and tell him that you like him. The worst thing that could happen is that he might not like you. But even though he is leaving next year, you could still have a really good six months with him. If I were in your position, I would definitely tell him that I like him. I know this is very scary, so I wish you the best of luck.

Lovingly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

This year is a disappointment. I was hoping to spend a lot of time with this friend I’m trying to make, but the school for some reason made it so that we don’t have any classes together. Why? I just wanted to have a good school year! Could you please make a solution besides hanging out with him at recess?

Sincerely,

Separated Friend

United States

Dear Separated Friend,

I know what you’re going through. I too was very upset when I didn’t end up having any classes with my friends, and I thought it would ruin my school year. But I quickly realized that having classes with people I don’t hang out with can actually be fun. For example, I had no friends in my math class this year but I ended up getting to know a bunch of the people in the class, and now I really enjoy it. I know you are disappointed that you can’t see your friend during class, but one solution is to hang out with him outside of school. Maybe go see a movie, or stay in touch with him over text if you have phones. If all else fails, there’s always… recess.

Socially,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I've been down here in my basement for three days, without food. Yet I can't make myself go back up. Not when Taylor Swift songs are still playing everywhere. Wherever I went above ground, I heard "Cruel Summer" or "Anti-Hero" or some other song, I'm not sure. They all sound the same. I had to take a break, so I hid in my basement. I need food and water. Is it really worth it to go back up there and hear that artist one more time? Please help me; I don't know how much longer I can stand it.

Sincerely,

Taylor Swift Hater

Dear Taylor Swift Hater,

Let’s face it, you are going to be down there for a while. Luckily, I am an expert in wilderness survival. So, here are my top three tips for surviving off the natural resources of the common basement ecosystem: (1) Find a reliable source of food and water. Personally, I have stored all of my apocalypse supplies in my basement. If you were not as prepared as I was, you can start feeding off the small goldfish crumbs and water spills on the floor. (2) Build a shelter. You will be down there for quite some time, so you need somewhere to sleep. Take all of the cardboard boxes in your basement and stack them on top of each other to create a shack. (3) Make a fire. During the cold months of winter, it can be hard to stay warm. Search the basement for matches, and light a small fire with more of the cardboard. Obviously fire can be dangerous, but if you find that your clothes have caught fire, just shake shake shake, shake it off, shake it off…

Fearless,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I like a boy.

Sincerely,

Little Girl

San Jose, CA

Dear Little Girl,

Kiss him.

Lovingly,

The Mask

Dear Mask,

I don’t know if hot dogs are a sandwich or not.

Sincerely,

Confused Eater

San Jose, CA

Dear Confused Eater,

This is a serious problem. The definition of a hot dog is “a frankfurter heated and served in a long split roll.” Some people argue that a hot dog refers to the sausage itself, but that’s not what the Oxford dictionary says! Depending on how you eat a hot dog, it may not be a sandwich. In my correct opinion, if the bun is broken in half, it’s a sandwich because there are two pieces of bread on either side. Yet if the bun is one big piece of bread, not broken into two, it’s not a sandwich. If it’s a whole bun that’s toasted, you’re eating a really weird piece of toast.

Now I want a hot dog,

The Mask

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Almaden Country Day School. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion, and are not intended to replace parental or professional advice.